October 30, 2012

My Recovery Run

So last Saturday I ran the Spinx half marathon during my Mastodon trip to Greenville, South Carolina. There was joy. There was fun. There was suffering in the sun. But that story is for another post. Suffice it to say I ran 13.1 miles and, so far as I can tell, lived to tell of it.

Sunday was a travel day, and I intended to take yesterday and today as recovery days before easing back into my training for the Vegas Rock 'N Roll half marathon in December. Apparently my dog / personal trainer Berkeley had other ideas.

Berk: "OMG! OMG! You're home from work! Time to play!"

Me:  "Hey bud. Good to see you. Now settle."

"Settle? I don't think so! I've been napping all day. Time to play!"

"Bud, I'm tired."

"Fine. I'll entertain myself."

"Berkeley Cooper put down that bed! Come back! Your bed is NOT a toy!"

"OK fat boy, we're going for a run then."

"No, we're staying home. I'm still sore. Ouch! Ouch! Stop biting my feet!"

"You're wearing SOCKS. You know I own all socks in this house."

"Those are my work socks. Drop them. Stop chewing my socks!"

"OK, but I have ways to persuade you to run."

"Ouch! Dude, why do you have to punch me? I have so many bruises on my thighs, my doctor is going to ask me if I'm in a 'safe place' next time I see him."

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Your call."

"OK, settle down and we'll go for a run. A SLOW run."

"That's more like it. Hey! What are those?"

"Gloves. It's chilly out."

"Those aren't gloves! Those are FRONT PAW SOCKS! ATTACK!"

"Ouch! Dude, my hands are in those gloves! Ouch!"

"Well let's run then."

"Slowly. Ouch! What was that punch for?"

"We're running fast. Get with the program."

"Ouch! Fast is fine then. No sprinting!"


"I am sore. I've run two half marathons in the past two weeks."

"Whatever. You need some speed work, fat guy. Whoa! Trick or treaters! Bet they want to party. Hey kids! Want to play? Huh? Huh?"

"Berk! Enough! You win, we'll run faster. Stop scaring the kids."

"They aren't scared. They love me. Everyone loves me."

"I'm not loving you so much right now. My legs hurt. We're going to walk this hill."

"Hill? Yay! SPRINT!!"


"Baby. Suck it up. It's just a hill."


"Knock it off. You're embarrassing me. Now sprint home!"

"Can't ... breathe ... help ... me ..."

"Hey, good run! Now get me a treat. I said, GET ME A TREAT!"

"Chicken jerky OK?"

"It'll do. Oh, and we're running again in the morning."

"No we're not. We just ran five miles fast."

"Don't make me wake you up."

"Ouch! OK, we'll talk about it. Ouch!"

Don't even think of running without me.

Play with me. Or else.


  1. With my recent experiments in bicycling, I've been reading quite a bit about the subject. That has included several writers who tried to move from just biking to triathlons. And they all say the same thing: Running is brutal on the body. Most commonly they say that they had no idea going in how much trauma their lower extremities would have to put up with.

    I like to learn from the pain of others rather than experiencing it myself. So the lesson I derive is easy: Ima stick to biking.

  2. Well, I called the ASPCA on your behalf. Damn, they said it works the other way around. Looks like you are on your own.