August 13, 2010

D-Bag O' the Day (v. 1.14)—
The Chicken Dance Killer

King of Swamp Castle:  Did you kill all those guards?

Sir Lancelot:  Um... oh, yes! Sorry.

King:  They cost fifty pounds each!

Sir Lancelot:  Well, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.

King:  Well, I can understand that. ... You only killed the bride's father, you know.

Sir Lancelot:  Well, I didn't mean to.

King:  Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head.

Sir Lancelot:  Oh dear.  Is he all right?  
King:  [to the wedding guests]  This is Sir Lancelot from the Court of Camelot!  He is a very brave and influential knight and my special guest today.

Wedding Guest:  He's killed my auntie!

King:  No, please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion!  Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who.

—Monty Python and The Holy Grail

In a modern update to one of my favorite Holy Grail scenes (and source of two of my favorite quotes* from the movie), a Turkish man reportedly killed several guests at his wedding when he shot off an AK-47 rifle as a method of celebration.  I guess the Chicken Dance just doesn't cut it with youngsters these days:

Shake it, Justine!

Just for good measure, some chicken dancing from the hilarious and underappreciated Arrested Development:

Arrested Development Chicken Dances - Watch more Funny Videos

* "Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who."—This one is useful anytime a tense argument at the poker tables needs defusing. 

"Huuugge tracts of land."—Useful for discretely (or not so discretely) signalling to my standard-issue male buddies the notable assets of various persons of interest.


  1. I probably mis-remember it as "Vast tracks of land."

  2. @ Anon: Here's one exchange with the king and his son, though he easily could've used "vast" in another line or in another scene:

    King of Swamp Castle: We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.

    Prince Herbert: But I don't like her.

    King of Swamp Castle: Don't like her? What's wrong with her? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land.

    Lots of other great Holy Grail quotes on