Weird Night at the Meadows ATM

Posting has been a bit light this week as I had that annoying "work" thing to deal with in advance of a long holiday weekend, and the start of football season.  I had a good chuckle, though, when one of my law partners walked into my office to talk fantasy football.  I'm manager for a league that's been around for 15 years now, and it has the usual 5 or so guys who are passionate about it, and another 9 guys who just like to meet for beer and wings every now and then.  Anyway, I had sent an email to the league last week setting the draft date and location.  Kelly had emailed me back withing 10 minutes:  "I'll be there."  Then, yesterday, he asks me again when the draft will be held.  I remind him of the date, and he says, "Oh.  Well, we [he and his wife] feed the homeless on Thursdays.  Guess I'll need to find someone to draft for me."  Now, I'm somewhat boggled by how his charitable activities escaped him when he initially confirmed he'd attend the draft, but I'm equally intrigued by the possibilities of this line being a useful way to avoid social activities I despise, but can't find a good way to avoid.  Rubber chicken awards dinner?  Sorry, feeding the homeless.  Retirement reception?  Wish I could, but I'm working the soup kitchen.  Hmmm, it even makes the other person feel slightly guilty for attempting to impose on your time in the first place.  Awesome!

Anyway, late afternoon I was talking to an expert witness when Ironman Bonnie starts twittering that he was in Des Moines for biz and wanted a Meadows ATM outing.  I wrapped things up and headed out.  After a short wait, we both got seats in the same new 1/2 NLHE cash game.  It's hard to do justice to that game, but let's just say statistical variance was in full effect, as bad play was constantly rewarded with weird two pairs, gutterball draws, runner-runners, and backdoor flushes happening repeatedly.  Bonnie was playing his usual LAG style, so we had the table in a frenzy in short order:

• Bonnie felted a guy when his 52o ("the Sahara") flopped bajos dos pairs and rivered a canoe.
• Bonnie turned pocket ducks into quads against me (stupid SVB!).
• Bonnie gifted me $75 when he mucked his bluff with the best hand on the river, letting my 44 win.  And he wasn't even drunk!  I may buy him a steak sometime.  Maybe.
• I got a little revenge for the quad ducks, bluffing Bonnie off QQ with a palindromic near-all-in bet of $232, leaving myself $1 for a river bluff.
• Bonnie hung around a hand with 32o, going runner-runner 54 for the idiot straight.  When he led out for a big river bet, and finally got called, I named his hand before he rolled it to tilt his victim.  Classic Bonnie.
• I ran bad for a while, getting down to my last $80 on my third buy-in, but I rallied to get back to even before I cashed out, starting when my Spanish Inquisition used fear, surprise, and a fanatical devotion to a flopped straight to torture out a quadruple-up.
• My Groundhog Day hand du jour was AQ.  I had that hand easily two dozen times in an eight hour session.  I probably lost over $1000 with it, misplaying it every way possible, before getting a little back in a $350 pot when my TPTK held up versus two draws.  I would have made a monster profit if I had merely mucked AQ preflop all night.

AVPer "zzjitterzz" was at the Meadows ATM for the Thursday tourney, and ended up taking third, apparently eschewing my final table advice to "Play better."  Maybe next time he'll listen to me.

Also, there were a couple of "Grumpy" moments.  Early on, a gentleman joined the game who clearly was something of a newbie.  Newbie sat next to legendary uber-nit Fred.  Newbie and I get into a hand, and my 8h6h flops a flush draw with gutterball.  I check-raise Newbie, who calls.  Turn makes my straight open-ended, so I pushed, in large part because Newbie seemed reluctant to call the flop.  Newbie thought a long time, then called off his last $75 or so.  I turned over my cards and say, "I just have the big draw."  Newbie looks at my cards, but doesn't say anything.  River is a blank, and I'm left with 8-high.  Newbie is staring at his hand, says, "I missed", and looks about to muck, when Fred helpfully pipes up, "Well, you have Queen-high."  Newbie looks back at my hand, then tables his Q6s (for a missed straight draw, natch).  Gee thanks, Fred.  Next time, stick to walking old ladies across the slot machine aisles.

The other annoying moment was late in the session when a young guy joined our table while waiting for a seat in the 3/6 LHE game.  He lost a buy-in, then got involved in a multi-way raised pot.  I called in late position with JTo, and the flop obligingly came down K-Q-9 rainbow.  Pac-Man!  Long story short, I bet, Young Guy raises, I push, Young Guy calls all-in for about $150 total.  Young Guy, who clearly fancied himself a player, says, "I got ya".  I rarely roll my cards on an all-in, but I do when I have the nuts or something close to it.  So, I tabled my hand and said, "I don't think so.  I've got the nuts for now."  Young Guy stands up and starts chanting, "pair the board, pair the board", so I figure he has a set.  Turn is another 9, and Young Guy goes all Hevad Khan, slams his hand down, and yells, "Ship it!!", then starts pacing behind the table in triumph until he gets pushed the pot.  Seriously dude, it was a pretty average pot in a 1/2 NL game, not the final table of a WSOP tourney or a monster pot on High Stakes Poker.  Act like you've won a hand before.  Thankfully, Young Guy busted out in the next two orbits; "Vengeance is ours!", sayeth the poker gods.