July 06, 2010

D-Bag O' the Day (v. 1.14)—Supreme Leader of San Francisco Named Parent of the Year

Dr Ray Stantz:  Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck:  They caused an explosion!
Mayor:  Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman:  Yes it's true.  This man has no dick.

—Ghostbusters
Our D-Bag O' the Day comes courtesy of Reason Hit & Run (a worthy blog to follow regardless of your political orientation).  Guess what gay marriage advocate Gavin Newsom is up to when not busy destroying straight marriages?  Turns out the Duke—errrr, Mayor (it's hard to keep these tyrannical titles straight)—of San Francisco believes adults are incapable of making their own life decisions, so he will treat them like children.  Emperor—excuse me, Mayor—Newsom has decreed that vending machines on city property can no longer sell sugar-added beverages, and must offer healthy beverages including soy milk and rice milk.  Apparently, people in San Francisco are incredibly stupid, and have been getting fat because they don't know enough to avoid sugary drinks, or can't figure out they can pack soy milk from home to drink at lunch.

Or maybe, just maybe, San Francisco adults are smart enough to know that sugary drinks aren't nutritious, but choose to drink them anyway, just like they make any number of other less-than-optimal lifestyle decisions.  What next?  Ban alcohol and tobacco city-wide?  Outlaw automobiles and guns within the city limits?  Put city workers in padded playpens at the office, with Czar—pardon me, Mayor—Newsom personally coming by to tuck them in for a nap after lunch, but only reading them a Curious George book if they first eat all of their veggie and tofu casserole?  Where does the pompous paternalism end?  Mark my words:  This year—Soy Milk.  Next year—Soylent Green.  You have been warned ...

How about a sugar-loaded beverage
to celebrate my "Parent of the Year" award?

4 comments:

  1. Where does he stand on Brussels sprouts?

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  2. Ban guns within the city? They tried that, sort of. See Doe v. City and County of San Francisco, 186 Cal. Rptr. 380 (Cal. App. 1982).

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  3. No exercise in San Francisco, topology is flat!

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  4. This to me is such a perfect example of the fallacy of politics these days. People are issue oriented not principled. Support gay marriage? Why yes I do. Why? Because the government has no business telling people who they can or can't marry. (I know it's more complex than that, but I'm doing sound bites here.) Well if the government has no business telling people who they can and can't marry, then they sure as shootin do not have any business telling people what kind of beverages to drink.

    And of course, the other side is no better - they just have different ways they want to run your life.

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