Showing posts with label Flying Pigs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flying Pigs. Show all posts

May 20, 2012

Inertia Poker Players Can Believe In

Last fall, the Poker Players Alliance organized poker player support for an online petition to the White House advocating the legalization and regulation of online poker. On Friday, the Obama Administration posted its response, which was disappointing only to those poker players who were naive enough to believe that the online petition was something other than a silly publicity stunt on both sides. Chris Krafcik, Research Director for GamblingCompliance, asked me for my take on the response. I emailed him the following:

I don't have any profound insight to share re the Obama Administration's statement on iPoker, mostly because I think the statement is pretty much a standard political puff piece, a souped up version of a polite blow-off letter from a legislator to a constituent on an issue the legislator doesn't care about. The statement basically restates the current status of the law—federal law bans sports betting, states can authorize iPoker and other forms of iGaming, and violations of state iGaming laws may also be a violation of federal law. The statement then placates any social conservatives or law and order types by ticking off the usual laundry list of concerns—addictions, minors, fraud, and money laundering.

I think the most telling sentence of the statement is: "The Administration will continue to examine this issue and is open to solutions that would help guard against the use of online gambling sites as tools for conducting illegal activities or preying on unsuspecting individuals to the extent that online gambling is permitted." I read this statement to mean that the Administration is not actively pursuing any particular policy re iGaming or iPoker. Given the Administration's other policy priorities, combined with the fact this is an election year, I doubt the Administration has any interest at all in spending political capital on a niche issue like iPoker where there is strong social conservative resistance, no real political pressure from the President's base, and the issue has little resonance as a pivotal electoral issue either nationally or in swing states. In fact, legalizing iPoker on a national basis is probably a political negative for the President, likely to be portrayed by conservatives as another example of the President dictating social policy to the states.

In short, I think this statement is utterly inconsequential, and was intended to be so. Of course, the poker world will seize on it to support their collective delusion that iPoker legalization is a major political issue.

To be blunt, President Obama does not give a flying pig about internet poker or gambling. Nothing the President or his Administration have said or done at any point in time indicates the remotest interest in the issue near and dear to the hearts of poker players. At best, the President is not opposed to iPoker legalization, and if presented with an iPoker bill hammered out by the major casino, Indian, and law enforcement interest groups, would probably sign it (which is admittedly a major advance over the Bush Administration). But don't expect Obama or his Administration to lift a finger to push an iPoker bill through Congress.

September 14, 2010

Idiot Sports Announcer Watch (v. 1.1)—
Out With a Brain

The return of football season means the return of a crAAKKer feature that went on hiatus after its initial debut—the Idiot Sports Announcer Watch.  Let's face it, there is really no reason to watch sports on TV between the conclusion of March Madness and the beginning of football season, with the exception of golf majors where Tiger Woods or Zach Johnson are in the hunt on Sunday.  But with the return of football, it's time to discuss the most annoying development in sports reporting and commentary—the abandonment of grammar when discussing player injuries.  The typical offending statement goes something like this:
"The Happy Hippos' defense is going to be challenged tonight, since star cornerback Joe Smith is out with a knee.  Rookie Billy Joe Jim Bob Johnson is really going to have to step up and elevate his game."
Setting aside the silly sports clichés—we can cover those in future posts—since when did folks who supposedly hold journalism or other college degrees start thinking the formulation:

"Smith is out with a [body part]."

was an acceptable grammatical replacement for:

"Smith is out with a [medical condition]." ??

This isn't difficult.  If you want to report a knee injury, you can say "ACL rupture", "meniscus tear", "knee strain", or simply a generic "knee injury".  See how easy it is to make your sentence grammatical, merely by adding one little word? 

The silliness of the "out with a [body part]" formulation is evident from the fact that even the offending announcers themselves do not use it consistently.  Have you ever heard an announcer report that a player with a concussion was "out with a head" or "out with a brain"?  How about a player suffering from the flu being reported as "out with lungs", or a little salmonella resulting in a player being "out with a small intestine"?

Look, I understand that language evolves constantly, and it is probably foolhardy to rail against such a relatively harmless grammatical error.  But, sports are widely watched by kids, and if they hear non-grammatical usages, they tend to adopt them, which can only be detrimental (assuming, of course, that educators and employers still care about things like grammar).  Also, given that many of these same nitwits in the sports biz will debate grammatical esoterica like whether "RBI" or "RBIs" is the proper plural form for the abbreviation for "runs batted in"*, I think a little grammatical respect is appropriate for "out with a [condition]".

Incidentally, there will be no further posts today.  I'm out with a sinus.

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*  For the record, I don't give a flying pig which one you use.  But, I think "RBI" as a plural sounds stilted and pretentious.

September 08, 2010

CBSSports.com Is a Putrid Swine Carcass

"Pigs get fat.  Hogs get slaughtered."

"You can shear a sheep a hundred times, but only skin it once."

These old farm-based aphorisms remind us of the perils of being excessively greedy.  It appears that the soulless corporate overlords at CBSSports.com (I refuse to link on general and specific principles) failed to learn that lesson in their Advanced Pillaging course during their MBA studies.  For the past 15ish years, I have been the manager for a fantasy football league.  It's a pretty casual crew, more in it for fun than any serious money (and the league certainly would never even so much as dream of violating Iowa gaming laws limiting casual gambling losses to $50.  Nosirree, Bob!).

Thankfully, around the time we organized the league, several internet sites were starting to offer services that would track players, handle trades and roster moves, and most importantly, keep score.  Early on, I signed up with one of the sites (Rotoworld, maybe?) that seemed to handle the process well, and did so for a modest fee.  Several years later, I moved the site over to CBSSports.com, because they offered live, real-time scoring, rather than delaying scoring until after the week's games concluded.  Along the way, the fee for keeping our league online gradually increased (from something like $50 per year to a little over $100 per year), but I personally paid the fee because:  a) it saved me immense hassles in managing the league (everything is virtually automatic after the draft), b) paying the fee allowed the league to micromanage scoring and roster options (rather than being stuck with rather unsatisfactory "standard" options offered by several leading free sites), and c) the guys liked being able to track the live scoring feature while watching the week's games.  Many leagues pass the online fees along to the other players, but since this league was for fun, I always ate the fee and passed through the entire entry fees as prizes.

In any event, over the past three months I received a series of emails from CBSSports.com.  Early on, the emails were pretty standard "come back now and save!" types of solicitations:

This is your last chance to save $20* on your league.
Offer ends this Thursday, August 12th at 11:59pm ET

Dear Fantasy Team Owner,

Purchase your league, Frozen Tundra, now to save $20 off the full price of your league.  You'll pay $159.99- that's less than $14 per person in a 12-team league.  Your league will enjoy the ultimate fantasy experience this season with:
  • Rapid live scoring via GameTracker.™
  • Full control to customize league transactions like trade and waiver options.
  • Multiple draft options, including auction drafts.
  • New tools to help you set your lineup each week- Learn more now.
  • 24 hour Help Center support.
  • Also check out the newly redesigned CBSSports.com now available in Beta via the link at the top of the current site.
—CBSSports.com email of 8/9/2010.

Of course, as a premier procrastinator, I held off, in part because the price seemed a big jump from last season (my hazy memory is that the fee last year was around $120), and in part because I had decided to check out a few competing sites which were offering similar services for free or at a fraction of the CBSSports.com price.  But, if you had pressed me at that point in time, I probably would have told you I expected to sign up with CBSSports.com again this year, mostly from inertia—all of our league's quirky scoring and scheduling preferences were already set-up, the guys were already signed up on the site, and frankly, moving seemed like quite the hassle.

Well, I didn't meet their randomly assigned deadline, and I figured, at worst, I would be out the extra $20 by not taking advantage of the special early-bird renewal rate.  Oh well, it was my own fault.  And, frankly, I waste more money on a bottle of wine or a bad preflop call all the time, so I wasn't losing sleep over the extra Jackson.

Well, one week to the day later, CBSSports.com emailed me again, but this time, the tone had changed from friendly salesperson to impatient bill collector:

TO: [Grange95]
From: Fantasy Football Billing

------------------------INVOICE-------------------------
Payment for your Fantasy Football league from CBSSports.com is now due. Your free trial period is about to expire.  Please review your statement and remit payment to ensure uninterrupted access to your league.  This invoice covers the total cost of your league.  As of the time this message was sent, we have not received payment foryour league.  If you or another member of your league has already paid, please disregard this notice.  Thank you for your business.
 -----------------------------------------------------------
Qty Item Price
1 Fantasy Football League $159.99
-----------------------------------------------------------
Subtotal: $159.99
-----------------------------------------------------------
Total Due: $159.99

—CBSSports.com email of 8/16/2010.

Now, this "invoice" is utterly ridiculous for a number of reasons.  First, the "free trial period" is a joke.  I know how the site works, having used it for years.  But notice how the free trial period only operates between football seasons, when it is utterly without value.  How can one "test" any features (new or old) when there are no players to draft, and no games to score? 

Second, I absolutely despise companies who send me product solicitations disguised as "invoices".  I haven't purchased your product yet, so how can you possibly be billing me for it?  What a slimy tactic, more what I would associate with a telemarketing scam than with a supposedly reputable media site.  Note the particularly odious implication that my payment was late.  A pox—trichinosis, maybe?—on your marketing staff.

Finally, just to twist the knife in further, note the price of the league.  That's right, it's the same $159.99 price CBSSports.com had touted earlier as being the rock-bottom bargain discount rate, subject to an expiration date.  So, all those folks who signed up early, thinking they were getting a great $20 discount, guess what?  You got suckered!  Let's just say after a couple of these fake invoices, I suddenly developed a keen interest in investigating alternative fantasy football sites.

So, guess what I found in my email box last week?  Yup, another sales pitch from CBSSports.com:

Don't miss your absolute last chance to save $20* on your league.  Offer extended until Thursday, August 26th at 11:59pm ET

Dear Commissioner,

Football season is almost here. Renew your league, Frozen Tundra, now to save $20 off the full price of your league. You'll pay $159.99 - that's less than $14 per person in a 12-team league. Continue to enjoy the ultimate fantasy experience with:
  • Detailed league history spanning back to your league's inaugural season.
  • The ability to have anywhere between 2 and 30 teams, and up to 4 Owners per team.
  • New tools to help you set your lineup each week- Learn more now.
  • The Fantasy Sports Trade Association award-winning league manager 8 out of 9 years.
  • Phone Gurus available for New League Setup Assistance 7 days a week between 8am and 12am ET at 1-877-322-GURU (4878).
  • Get your football information faster with the newly redesigned CBSSports.com, featuring cleaner layouts and easy to use navigation.
—CBSSports.com email of 8/24/2010.
Note that this email reverted back to the original sales pitch, but suddenly touted a special two-day "extension" of the special discount.   Sorry guys, by this point I was seriously annoyed, and motivated to do a little more comparison shopping.  Although there are several good free sites, I ended up settling on ESPN.com's fantasy football service because:  a) it allowed the same rule and roster flexibility, b) it offers real-time game scoring updates, and c) it was free.  Yes, the sports media mothership, which is fully capable of sucking spare change from your wallet, provides essentially the same services as CBSSports.com, at absolutely no charge!  Now, I know that some of these services either were unavailable or were fee-based in the past, but since I haven't really investigated alternatives in the past 3-4 years, I'm starting to wonder how long I was CBSSports.com's huckleberry.

In any event, I was setting up our league on ESPN.com today, and wanted to verify the scoring rules we had used on CBSSports.com.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered our league page still existed, but I was locked out from even looking at our own league constitution and scoring rules!  Instead, I got this "welcome page":
Your Grace Period ended.

Please submit payment to re-activate your league.

Don't worry! Your league remains completely intact.  However, your grace period has ended so we must restrict access to your league until payment is received.  Resume full use of your league by completing your purchase now:
  • PAY ONLINE
  • Safe and secure credit card payments
  • Simple one-step process
  • Available 24 hours a day
  • PAY BY PHONE: 1-877-266-6474 (toll-free 8:00 AM ET to Midnight ET. 7 days a week. )
Fantasy Football Commissioner is the most powerful and reliable league manager available.  Doesn't your league deserve the best?  Fantasy Football Commissioner has been voted the "Best Fantasy Football League Manager" by the Fantasy Sports Trade Association.
 And don't forget our money back guarantee.

If there is any way we can be of help in your purchase decision, please let us know.  (Call the toll-free number above or contact us via the Help Center.)
Wow, holding my league information hostage.  CBSSports.com wants $179.99 to simply let me look at the rules I wrote for my own fantasy football league?  Like I care that much!  Plus, I happen to have plenty of documents and emails with the league rules and records, it was just more inconvenient to find them than to go the league home page.  Sorry CBSSports.com, but your last little dirty trick failed, and you have lost me as a customer.  Come spring, I'll be moving my March Madness bracket off your site and relocating it ... well, just about anywhere that doesn't try to strong arm me.
"No question now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."

—"Animal Farm" by George Orwell
An animal with far more utility and
character than CBSSports.com.

(Image source at guardian.co.uk).

May 17, 2010

Our Insect Overlords Play Poker

"I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords."

—Kent Brockman, "The Simpsons"

Recently, the poker community was all abuzz about poker being accepted into the International Mind Sports Association (IMSA).  When the Colorado Supreme Court last week rejected an appeal seeking to have poker recognized as a game of skill exempt from the state's gambling laws, the Poker Players Alliance (PPA) responded with the ultimate weak sauce retort of, "Well, we're recognized as a 'Mind Sport', so take that!"

Today, news broke that the International Chess Federation (FIDE)—a founding member of the IMSA—is having something of a catfight over who will serve as the next president of FIDE.  Apparently, former world champion Anatoly Karpov is seeking to unseat the current president, Kirsan Ilyumzhinov.  Making the situation rather unusual is that Karpov's former rival, Garry Kasparov, is supporting Karpov.  Making the situation absurd is this rather bizarre allegation:

What adds an unquestionably delectable flavor to the campaign is a letter from Andre Lebedev, an MP in Russia, addressed to President Dmitry Medvedev of Russia. The missive asks Medvedev to report on a statement made in April by Ilyumzhinov that aliens briefly abducted him in 1997. Ilyumzhinov said that there were witnesses. Lebedev’s letter is reported on ChessBase.com. Lebedev argues that Ilyumzhinov is either unfit to rule or has failed to report whether he yielded up state secrets to the alien visitors. Lebedev’s letter appears to be a ploy to unseat Ilyumzhinov or at least embarrass the existing Russian government.

Yes, that's right.  The president of FIDE who voted to recognize poker as a "Mind Sport" believes he was abducted by aliens.  Wow, that whole IMSA endorsement just screams credibility now, doesn't it?

Clearly, our alien overlords enjoy poker between bouts of planetary destruction and probing of backwood hicks.  I think this explains Phil Hellmuth's otherwise bizarre behavior—he's an alien sent to infiltrate humanity (or at least the degenerate gamblers) and prepare the way for an invasion.  Who else do you think is actually part of the alien poker invasion?  I suspect Bill Chen (too much advanced math knowledge), Dario Minieri (those scarves cover an extra mouth), Tom Dwan (he's clearly half Vulcan), and Phil Ivey (look at the obvious bug eyes).

I hereby declare poker to be a "Mind Sport"!
How dare you call me with Queen-Ten!

May 03, 2010

The Company Poker Keeps

“Tell me what company you keep and I'll tell you what you are.”

—Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
On this week's Poker Beat podcast, a segment was devoted to discussing poker's recent recognition as a "mind sport".  More specifically, the International Mind Sports Association (IMSA) voted to allow the International Federation of Poker (IFP) to join as a member.  The IFP was formed barely a year ago, with laudable, if lofty, goals:
The IFP will also draw together all the arguments, evidence and testimony gathered around the world by national federations or their equivalents which have been called upon to contest restrictive laws or punitive taxation. ...

Above all, IFP will be working to demonstrate that poker is a Mind Sport of strategic skill, not a mere game of chance, and so to win it exemption from gambling legislation throughout the world.
The IMSA was formed in 2005 by international groups governing bridge, chess, draughts (checkers), and Go.  The IMSA has this mission:
The goal of IMSA was to gather different mind sports federations to pursue common aims and interests, to organize the World Mind Sport Games under the aegis of the General Association of International Sport Federations and further realize the inclusion of mind sports in the Olympic movement. In particular, the organization's longterm plans include running World Mind Sports Games by analogy with Olympics, which will be held in Olympic host cities shortly after Winter or Summer Games.
Browsing through the IMSA website, it appears that the IMSA held an international competition in early 2008, as well as another world championship event in conjunction with 2008 Beijing Olympics.  But since then, the IMSA has been strangely quiet, though there are apparently plans for another international competition to be held in conjunction with the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.

The reaction in the poker community to the IMSA's decision to accept the IPF as a member organization has ranged from celebratory to exuberant.  A typical reaction hailed the news as a "major milestone" and "monumental achievement".  Doyle Brunson stated, "I believe that history will show this was a key moment for poker."  On the Poker Beat podcast, respected poker commentator Gary Wise asserted the development was "one small step for poker, one giant leap for poker kind", while fellow contributor B.J. Nemeth declared that eventually the "mind sport" endorsement will be regarded as "one of the key moments in the 2000s" for the general acceptance and legalization of poker.

Let's hold off on the high fives and champagne toasts. Although it is undoubtedly cool to refer to poker as a "mind sport", the whole IFP/IMSA setup feels a lot like a couple of vanity professional organizations whose primary purpose is to pat themselves on the back for being cerebral.  A cynic might view their relationship as poker giving some needed money and publicity to the IMSA in exchange for "certification" as a "mind game"—really nothing more than a professional circle jerk.  At the end of the day, neither the IFP nor the IMSA have any political or cultural clout.  The IFP's arguments for being regarded as a "mind sport" are the same as those being employed—unsuccessfully—in the "poker is a game of skill" litigation strategy in the United States.  If that argument has failed to achieve any meaningful results to date, the self-serving stamp of approval from the IMSA is unlikely to make any difference to poker legalization efforts.  Does anyone seriously expect a Senator opposed to online poker to slap his head and say, "Wow, now that the chess and bridge folks say poker is a 'mind sport', how can I possibly oppose legalizing poker? Who cares about the evils of online gambling, or the risk of money laundering by terrorists and criminals? Go poker!"

Later in the Poker Beat podcast, the crew actually touched on the real hurdle poker faces in gaining full legalization when they discussed a study regarding the economic impact of legalized online gambling.  Dan Michalski of Pokerati fame noted correctly that poker's opposition frames the legalization debate in moral terms, not economic terms.*  The Poker Beat crew then moved on to a new topic—the arrest of Daniel Tzvetkoff for federal charges of UIGEA violations and money laundering—that they apparently regarded as unrelated to the poker legalization debate.  But the Tzvetkoff arrest is actually an important piece of the puzzle that is preventing widespread acceptance of legalized poker.

Consider the popular image of poker—not the image the insular poker community has of the game they play, but the image of poker in society as a whole:
Poker players and poker culture emphasize and celebrate a libertarian—even libertine—lifestyle that is far from the normal American lifestyle.  Heck, poker doesn't even fit in with all of the other residents on the island of misfit mind games.  When did you last read about chess players involved in money laundering?  Bridge players dropping out of college to blow thousands of dollars partying at high-end nightclubs?  Go players making prop bets for tens of thousands of dollars?  Checkers players getting arrested for drug possession, or because they robbed a bank to support their gambling habit? 

The IMSA may have let poker join the "mind sport" club, but even Al Capone and John Gotti could buy their way into a country club.  The public is almost certainly willing to accept that poker is a game of skill, or at least a mixture of skill and gambling.  The problem is that the public holds a concomitant opinion that poker is also a game associated with shady characters looking to fleece average players of any money left after the poker sharks have ravaged their bank accounts.  When Congress goes to debate repealing UIGEA and legalizing online poker, which of these storylines will be more memorable, more compelling:
  • Poker is recognized as a 'mind sport' by some European organization unknown to most Americans, OR Online poker sites associate—or even conspire—with money launderers to evade American laws?
  • Poker is a game of skill that can be mastered by serious players, OR Online poker sites fail to protect players from cheaters and scammers, or even cheat and scam their own players?
  • Poker can be a challenging and rewarding profession for those with math and psychological skills, OR Poker can lure smart kids out of college and promising careers, and lead them into a lifestyle filled with the temptations of gambling, drug abuse, and materialism while pursuing a "profession" with no redeeming social value?
Poker has come a long way from the outlaw days remembered by players of Doyle Brunson's era.  In fact, the greatest achievement of some of poker's famous pioneers was to eliminate criminals and cheaters from poker games by establishing poker as a regulated casino game, so that poker truly could develop as a contest of skill.  Unfortunately, poker seems to have taken a few steps back during recent years.  Getting an endorsement as a "mind sport" is an empty achievement, at least so long as the headlines trumpet poker's association with those who are criminal, unsavory, or merely shallow.  As the old proverb goes:
"If you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas."

----------------------------------------
* I think Michalski gets this half right.  The other element of the opposition to legalized online poker is that the UIGEA was passed as part of the SAFE Port Act, designed to improve the security of American ports against terrorist attacks or activities (e.g., smuggling in bombs or weapons).  It is a big lift to get any member of Congress to vote to repeal part of an anti-terror act, even if the UIGEA is only tangentially related to the main purpose of the act.  The repeal process is only made more difficult when online poker is associated with money launderers, since money laundering to finance terrorist groups or criminal organizations is already a politically touchy issue.

May 02, 2010

The Flying Pig Sports Season

Yesterday was billed as a great day in sports, headlined by the Kentucky Derby and Mayweather-Mosley heavyweight boxing title fight. In supporting roles were the NBA and NHL playoffs, a random NASCAR race, several MLB games, and some non-major PGA event sans Tiger (and his harem). I love sports. Guess what? I watched exactly zero hours of sports yesterday, despite having the house to myself.

That's right, I just don't give a flying pig about any of these sports events. Hockey is awesome fun to watch in person, but is terrible to watch on TV. Baseball is also much more entertaining in person, but as the league's current financial structure makes it tough for most teams to compete, unless you are a lifelong fan of one of the perrenial powers, there is little reason to care until the pennant races heat up just before Labor Day. Golf is only interesting if it's a major. As for NASCAR, I've tried, really tried, but I just don't get the mass appeal; it's probably like soccer, where fans need to be indoctrinated "into" the sport/cult as a kid. The NBA playoffs only are worth watching if: a) the Dallas Mavericks are losing (Mark Cuban losing is almost as entertaining as a Phil Hellmuth rant); or b) it's reached the conference finals (the NBA's dirty little secret is that there are only 3-5 teams worth watching any given year).

So that brings us to the two headline events that dominated the sports news cycle this past week—the Kentucky Derby and the boxing match. The Derby is billed as "the most exciting two minutes in sports"; obviously the person who uttered that nonsense has never seen a two-minute drive in football. More to the point, horse-racing isn't a sport at all, it's a gambling event. The Derby is only covered by the sports media because of tradition. Think otherwise? Quick, name the last five Breeder's Cup winners, or the leading prospects for next year's Derby, or the top three horses with a shot at winning the Belmont Stakes that didn't run the Derby. If you could answer those questions, you're either in the horse industry or a degenerate gambler on the ponies.

Finally, boxing. The golden era of boxing passed long ago. There have been, at most, two boxers worth caring about in the past two decades—Mike Tyson and George Foreman, and they were interesting more for their lives outside the ring than how they performed in the ring. With the rise of mixed martial arts (MMA) over the past decade, boxing is simply boring. MMA offers more athleticism, more drama; it's compelling in a way that boxing once was but no longer is.

So when do preseason NFL games begin?

March 31, 2010

The Southwestern Lake Wobegon State Tech Flying Pigs Are On the Bubble

"Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average."
—Garrison Keillor
With the NCAA Final Four set for this weekend, the sports news of the day is that this year is likely the last edition of the tournament to have 64 (well, technically 65) teams.  Yup, the Big Dance is going to change from a high school prom to a warehouse rave.  The reason, as always in college athletics, is about the money:

The NCAA can opt out of its current tournament broadcast contract with CBS after this season. It has three years, $2.131 billion remaining of an original 11-year, $6 billion contract.

Some have said that an extra round of 31 games would make the tournament a more valuable television property. The decision has to be made by this summer. The NCAA asked television networks for their thoughts in a request for proposals sent out earlier this year.

ESPN.com (31 March 2010)
There's probably little doubt that CBS (or another network) would pay dearly for an extra 31 first-round games (actually 32, since nobody regards the current "play-in game" as a real part of the tournament, despite the NCAA's dogmatic insistence to the contrary).  But frankly, this is a solution in search of a problem.  As my buddy Jugweed tweeted this morning, most sports fans want a college football playoff and don't want an expanded basketball playoff, and the NCAA is giving us exactly the opposite.

Several prominent coaches, including Jim Boeheim of Syracuse and Jay Wright of Villanova, are staunch advocates of an expanded tournament field.  Coaches favor expansion in part because success in the tournament translates into significant revenues for the teams and their schools, and in part because coaches often lose their jobs for failing to make the tournament frequently enough.  These coaches argue that only 65 out of 344 (roughly 20%) NCAA Division I teams make the tournament, far less than the nearly 50% of college football teams who play in bowl games.  This "participation ribbons for everyone" argument, however, mixes apples and oranges, as only two football teams play in the national title game and another eight teams play in presitigious BCS bowl games, while most of the remaining bowl games are "minor" and hold little public interest except for fans of the teams playing, and degenerate sports gamblers.

Another reason cited for expanding the tournament is the claim that deserving teams are shut out of the tournament because of the 65-team format.  This rationale is pure bovine excrement.  Look at the teams who were "on the bubble" and just missed qualifying for the tournament field this year:  Illinois, Utah State, Virginia Tech, and Mississippi State.  Those four teams were mediocre at best during the regular season.  Does anyone seriously want to argue that any of those teams would have made the Final Four had they been in the field?  Instead, they likely would have lost in the first or second round, much like the last few at-large teams to qualify (Florida, Missouri, and Minnesota).

Look at the current NIT field, comprised of the 32 "next best" teams not in the Big Dance.  Expansion advocates are essentially arguing that these teams should be added to the current NCAA tournament field.  Can a basketball fan (other than a fan of a particular team) honestly argue that any of those teams is good enough to have made a deep run in an expanded tournament this season?  North Carolina was sub-.500 in the ACC, and coach Roy Willimas freely admits his team was terrible this year, even making a poorly articulated comparison to the earthquake tragedy in Haiti.  Yet the Tarheels are in the NIT championship game!  Do we really need to bloat the Big Dance with a bunch of teams that can't even pull off a good "Sprinkler" or "Butter Churn" move (or worse)?

The real reason for expanding the field is not that qualified teams are being excluded, but rather because mediocre teams from the major "power" conferences are being excluded.  Out of the 65 teams in the field, 31 are "automatic qualifiers", generally by virtue of winning their conference post-season tournament; each conference receives one automatic bid.  Thus, "Cinderella teams" get into the tournament field despite having a low (or non-existent) profile in the national sports media.  Usually small schools from obscure conferences, these teams tend to be "directional" (East Tennessee State) and "fake state" (San Diego State) schools.  These teams provide most of the drama and charm of the first two or three rounds of the tournament, pulling the occasional upset of one of the "big dog" schools (e.g., 15-seed Hampton beating 2-seed Iowa State in 2001, or 14-seed Northwestern State—a directional fake state two-fer— beating 3-seed Iowa in 2006).

What's wrong with letting these Cinderella-wannabes attend the ball?  Well, the NCAA tournament is a monstrous cash cow, and the milk is divvied up among all of the Division I basketball schools using a formula based in large part on the number of tournament wins a conference's teams have had over the preceding six years.  Thus, the more teams a conference has in the tournament, the greater the number of potential wins, and the greater the potential payday for the conference.  Following the 2009 season, the six "power" conferences (the same as the six BCS conferences in football) received from $14 million to $28 million each, while smaller conferences with fewer qualifying teams and fewer wins received exponentially less; for example, even though Memphis University has had a history of success over the past decade, their Conference-USA only received $8.4 million, still the most among the non-power conferences.  This year's pseudo-Cinderella, Butler University, has a history of success in the tournament, but their Horizon League is not even in the top ten conferences for revenue received from the tournament.  Ditto for Gonzaga and the WCC, despite Gonzaga's perennial tournament success over the past decade or more.  Outside the power conferences, only the "high-major" conferences (e.g., Atlantic-10, Conference-USA, and MWC) are receiving any significant money from the NCAA tournament, yet the amounts pale in comparison to the Big 6 power conferences, and even some of the high-majors (e.g., the WAC) are missing the gravy train.

The economic incentives tied to maximizing conference wins leads to some perverse incentives in the tournament selection and seeding process.  First, seeding and bracketing rules require the top three teams from any conference to be placed in different regions, while two teams from the same conference cannot play prior to the regional final game (Elite Eight), unless a conference has more than eight teams in the tournament.  These rules permit the power conferences to maximize their potential wins, by not cannibalizing wins from other conference teams.  Next, the tournament committee (usually dominated by members of the power conferences) will often schedule first-round matchups between good teams from "mid-major" conferences.  This minimizes the potential wins of the mid-major conferences, and lets power conference teams face easier low-major conference opponents in the first-round.  Finally, the tournament committee is able to select mediocre power conference teams ahead of mid-major or low-major conference regular season champions who were upset in their conference tournaments; again, this maximizes potential power conference wins while minimizing potential wins for the mid/low-major conferences.

What does this all mean in terms of the practical effect of expanding the tournament field?  Let's look at the breakdown of the 2009 and 2010 tournaments.*  The top 32 teams (the 1-8 seeds) would get byes the first round of an expanded tournament.  Who are those teams?  In 2010, 24 of 32 (75%) of the teams with 1-8 seeds were from the Big 6 power conferences (this number is probably low when compared to recent years, due to the weakness of the Pac-10 conference with only one team with a seed in the 1-8 range).  In 2009, 27 of 32 (84%) of the teams with 1-8 seeds were from the Big 6 power conferences.  The first round bye would benefit the power conferences in two ways.  First, the low/mid-major teams would be pitted against each other with higher frequency in the first round (much as occurs with the current play-in game), allowing more power conference teams to advance to the second round.  Second, assuming the first round games are played within a few days of the start of the round of 64, the power conference teams with byes would be better rested and have a greater preparation advantage in the second round games, likely reducing the frequency of upsets by low/mid-major teams. 

However, the power conferences would glean yet another advantage from the expanded field.  The 1-4 seeded teams are given greater protection in terms of the site of their opening round games under the "pod" system.  These teams travel shorter distances, resulting in better fan support and less team fatigue.  In 2009, 15 out of 16 (94%) of the teams with 1-4 seeds were from the Big 6 power conferences.  In 2010, 13 out of 16 (81%) of the teams with 1-4 seeds were from the Big 6 power conferences. Once again, the expanded field would enable the power conferences to maximize their advantages over the low/mid-major conferences.

The power conferences are interested in expanding the tournament field not because it is good for basketball fans, or to include the little schools.  No, the power conferences are expanding the tournament field because they want the low/mid-major schools to have a smaller piece of the basketball revenue pie, and expanding the field is politically easier to accomplish than eliminating automatic bids for all conferences.  The net result of expanding the tournament field, however, is to increase the total TV revenue (more games), and to give the power conferences an even greater edge in maximizing their share of those revenues (more power conference teams in the tournament, earlier elimination of low/mid-major teams, and greater protection against upsets by low/mid-majors).

No doubt about it, the NCAA basketball tournament is big business, and the power conferences are the big shot CEOs intent on maximizing their personal income however they can.  The low/mid-major schools are merely the hourly workers who will have to tolerate a pay cut just to keep food on the table.  As always, be skeptical whenever a CEO says a program is being implemented for the benefit of his workers!

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* (Below the jump are detailed breakdowns of teams seeded 1-8 by conference for 2009 & 2010)


2010

Big 12 (6)—Kansas (1); Oklahoma St. (7); Kansas St. (2); Texas (8); Texas A&M (5); Baylor (3);

Big East (7)—Georgetown (3); Syracuse (1); Pitt (3); Marquette (6); West Virginia (2); Notre Dame (6); Villanova (2)

Big 10 (4)—Michigan St. (5); Ohio St. (2); Wisconsin (4); Purdue (4)

ACC (3)—Maryland (4); Clemson (7); Duke (1);

Pac-10 (1)—California (8)

SEC (3)—Tennessee (6); Vanderbilt (4); Kentucky (1);

Conference-USA (0)—None

Horizon League (1)—Butler (5);

Mountain West (2)—UNLV (8); New Mexico (3)

WCC (1)—Gonzaga (8)

Atlantic-10 (3)—Xavier (6); Temple (5); Richmond (7)

WAC (1)—BYU (7)


2009

Big 12 (5)—Kansas (3); Missouri (3); Oklahoma St. (8); Texas (7); Oklahoma (2)

Big East (8)—Louisville (1); West Virginia (6); Boston College (7); Connecticut (1); Marquette (6); Pitt (1); Villanova (3); Syracuse (3)

Big 10 (4)—Ohio St. (8); Michigan St. (2); Purdue (5); Illinois (5)

ACC (5)—Wake Forest (4); Florida St. (5); Duke (2); North Carolina (1); Clemson (7)

Pac-10 (4)—Washington (4); California (7); UCLA (6); Arizona St. (6)

SEC (1)—LSU (8)

Atlantic-10 (1)—Xavier (4)

Conference-USA (1)—Memphis (2)

MWC (2)—Utah (5); BYU (8)

WAC (0)—None

WCC (1)—Gonzaga (4)

February 19, 2010

Tiger & the Flying Pig

"Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon."

—Alan Garner (Zach Galifianakis), "The Hangover"

Hmmm, I wonder if Tiger ever met an exotic dancer named Cinnamon? ...

Anyway, the Tiger Woods kabuki theatre continued today with Act III—The Public Apology. The sports media is now abuzz with varying critiques of Tiger’s performance:

Was he sincere enough?
Did he sound genuine or scripted?
Should he have looked at the camera more?
Did he get all of his lines right?
Did he apologize to all the right people?
Why wouldn’t he answer questions?

On many levels, I don’t give a flying pig about the Tiger “scandal”. To me, Tiger is a great golfer, nothing more, nothing less. Tiger is not a role model. I don’t buy or do anything because he endorses a product or service. I don’t know Tiger, and nothing he’s done has affected me personally, so he certainly doesn’t owe me any explanation or apology. My only expectation from Tiger is the chance for a thrilling round of golf on the weekend of a golf major, with maybe a breathtaking shot or two thrown in.

Frankly, I’m baffled. Why is America so obsessed with this story? Tiger is not the only athlete to exhibit an inflated ego and sense of entitlement; in fact, an outsized ego seems almost de rigueur for professional athletes. Tiger is not the first, nor will he be the last athlete to succumb to the temptations of his wealth and fame, whether those temptations are women, booze, drugs, or gambling. Really, the media is intoxicated on the heady brew of an overly self-righteous sense of judgment, cashing in on America’s favorite pastime—schadenfreude of the rich and famous.

It is indisputable that Tiger’s womanizing was wildly inappropriate and incredibly hurtful to his family. But, Tiger didn’t commit a crime, nor did he betray a public trust. So, how does his rakish behavior affect anyone other than his family? Why do we in the public need to know how many women, whether they have pictures or tapes, and the intimate details of how they hooked up? Why does the public in general and the sports media in particular feel entitled to know everything that happened, and assert the right to judge whether Tiger is handling the situation correctly?

At the end of the day, this entire sordid situation reflects poorly on Tiger’s character, but it is irrelevant to his ability to play golf. So enough with the media coverage. Let Tiger deal with the situation in private, with his wife and family. Only Tiger’s wife can judge whether Tiger is truly remorseful, and decide whether their marriage can be salvaged. The sports media and the public need to move along and stop rubbernecking at the Tiger train wreck.

January 13, 2010

The Real Flaws in Big Mac's Apology

Mark McGwire has finally completed the de rigueur three-step Kabuki dance of the public figure caught in some indiscretion: outraged denial, stonewalling silence, tearful apology. Now we await the final thumbs-up or thumbs-down from the self-appointed critics in the sports media as to whether Big Mac’s dramatic performance was satisfactory according to their standards: Was he sincere enough? Did he admit enough? Is it too little, too late? Never mind that most of these self-righteous media critics were the same individuals who shirked their professional responsibilities by turning a blind eye to steroid use in the late 1980s and through most of the 1990s to serve their own self-interests in maintaining access to these same players they now pillory. Why let a little hypocrisy get in the way of a good opinion piece about why Big Mac should or shouldn’t be welcomed back into MLB’s good graces, and possibly even voted into the Hall of Fame?

Frankly, though, all the focus on whether McGwire’s apology was “sincere” enough is misplaced. I have no doubt McGwire is truly sorry—not for his decision to use steroids, but that his steroid use became public knowledge. Big Mac is little different than the 6 year-old who breaks his mother’s favorite vase and tries to hide it; when his misbehavior is inevitably discovered, the kid’s tearful apology is certainly sincere, but he’s mostly sorry he got caught (or he’s only sorry after he got caught).

As I’ve written previously, I don’t give a flying pig if McGwire ever apologized for using steroids. But since he has done so, I do take issue with a couple of his ridiculous assertions:
"I did it [for] health purposes," McGwire told Costas. "If you look at my career, injured '93, '94, '95, '96, I was a walking M*A*S*H unit. I told my dad yesterday when I finally had to tell him about this. I remember calling him in '96. I was so frustrated with injuries, I wanted to retire. He's the one who told me to stick it out. At that time I was using steroids thinking it was going to help me. It was brought to my attention that it was going to help me heal faster, make my body feel back to normal."

Asked repeatedly by Costas if he believed that his statistics and records were legitimate in light of the disclosure, McGwire did not budge.

(“McGwire opens up about steroid use,” Matthew Leach, MLB.com).
Although it stretches credulity, let’s grant Big Mac his contention that he only used PEDs to recover from injuries, and not to increase his strength.* Let’s also assume Big Mac had improved as a player to the point that, if only he stayed healthy, he would inevitably have broken the home run record based on his natural skill, talent, and strength. Even under this rose-colored hypothetical, McGwire’s use of PEDs was nonetheless indirectly responsible for his breaking the record by permitting him to remain healthy for a full season, something he had trouble doing in the latter part of his career. Even McGwire himself admits, at least obliquely, that PEDs added games to his seasons, and seasons to his career. Those added games and seasons enable him to set the single season home run record (in more dramatic fashion than Barry Bonds’ subsequent effort) and pad his career home run stats. It is these two accomplishments that form a large part of the justification for his Hall of Fame consideration. Now, whether those accomplishments were achieved against pitchers also using PEDs, and whether his stats are still impressive in the context of other juiced hitters of the same era, is a debate for another day by people who actually care about MLB. What can’t be denied is that PEDs benefited McGwire’s career even by McGwire’s own arguments.
"I wish I had never touched steroids. It was foolish and it was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never played during the steroid era.

(McGwire press release, MLB.com) (emphasis added).
Big Mac makes it seem inevitable that he used PEDs, simply because he was living in an era when lots of players were using PEDs. That reeks a bit of bovine excrement. It’s not like an unscrupulous doctor or trainer was slipping the PEDs to McGwire without his knowledge. Look, I went to college in the late 80s and early 90s, and most of my friends would smoke marijuana on occasion. I never did, not because of some moral judgment, but simply because I wasn’t sure what career path I would take, and didn’t want any hint of drug use in my record (not to mention tequila was always sufficient for my recreational purposes). Likewise, even if PED usage was endemic in MLB in the 90s, there were certainly a significant number of players who played within the rules, and avoided PED use. It’s possible that McGwire cost other non-PED-using players money by using PEDs to extend his career: pitchers who lost games** or gave up home runs to McGwire getting cut or getting less money, hitters who didn’t break in to the big leagues because McGwire’s career was extended, hitters who would have gotten bigger contracts or more endorsement deals if their performances weren’t diminished when viewed in comparison to McGwire’s PED-aided stats, and players from other teams who would have made the playoffs but for McGwire's ability to play a full season (or several extra seasons). It is these players to whom Big Mac owes a sincere apology, and it is these players whose voices should be the loudest in expressing outrage at those players who used PEDs, and in demanding that fellow players compete on a level playing field.

As for me, I still don't give a flying pig how the McGwire situation shakes itself out, and frankly, I want my sports media coverage to turn back to the NFL playoffs and college basketball.  At least we seem to have stopped talking about Tiger Woods and his terrible taste in mistresses ...

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* Whether athletes should be allowed to use steroids, HGH, or similar drugs to assist in treating injuries rather than enhancing performance is an interesting issue that merits serious debate. Allowing this type of supervised medical use of PEDs for treatment purposes would probably prove to be a big loophole ripe for abuse. In any event, McGwire’s possession and use of PEDs was certainly illegal (though ironically, not against MLB rules) at the time he made his decision to use those PEDs, so the reason for his use of PEDs is ultimately irrelevant to the debate.

** It would be intriguing to learn how many baseball games were lost because of a decision to pitch around McGwire or Barry Bonds during the height of their PED-enhanced home run streaks, or how many additional games the Cardinals and Giants won because of the extra games and seasons played by McGwire and Bonds.  It's also entirely possible that McGwire's and Bonds' PED use kept teams out of the playoffs, directly impacting those teams and their players financially.

January 11, 2010

Of Big Mac & My Flying Pigs

I was at home sick today, when the news broke that Mark McGwire had admitted to using performance enhancing drugs (PEDs), specifically, steroids and human growth hormone (HGH). While the public admission is technically “news” in the sense of a new development, that Big Mac had used PEDs during his baseball career had been more or less established in my mind, at least since his bizarre Congressional testimony in 2005, if not as early as the discovery of his use of androstenedione (“andro”) during his 1998 record-setting home run duel with Sammy Sosa, or the later revelations from McGwire’s unapologetic former teammate and mega-juicer, Jose Canseco. So, concerning McGwire’s admission today, I say, so what?

That’s right, I said it. I don’t give a flying pig if McGwire finally has publicly admitted to using PEDs, since I’ve presumed for a long time he had used PEDs. But more to the point, I also don’t give a flying pig that Big Mac was on the juice. This may come as a surprise to those who know me. After all, I’m a lawyer by trade, a basketball referee for nearly two decades, and a rules nit at nearly every card game I play. Shouldn’t I care more that McGwire was cheating?

Well, you’re probably right. On some level, I really ought to care about the cheating aspect of PED use. After all, as a kid in the late 70s and 80s, I grew up learning that the only reason we good Americans could ever lose in the Olympics to those evil East Germans, Soviets, or other assorted “Commies” was because the bad guys were all doping. Of course, in the late 80s and early 90s, we found out that American Olympians were also doping. We also found out that PED usage was rampant in the NFL, college football, the Tour de France, swimming, boxing, heck just about every sport. At some point, any serious sports fan learned to assume PED usage is pervasive in sports, and that testing for PEDs is, at best, a crude method for keeping PED usage in check and behind the scenes, but no more effective at preventing a motivated athlete from juicing up than a purity ring is at stopping a motivated teen from “rounding the bases”.

So please forgive me for not jumping on the moral outrage bandwagon we’re sure to hear in the sports media the next few weeks, and again when the Baseball Hall of Fame ceremonies roll around. Because here’s the dirty little not-so-secret:  PED use was and is widespread in major league baseball, just like most other sports. The same sports media people who pontificate on the evils of PED usage are the same media members who ignored reporting the issue for years because they didn’t want to jeopardize their access to sports stars. And we fans are likewise in no position to wax righteously indignant—we saw players getting bigger and faster, we saw records topple like dominos, yet we didn’t want to look too closely at how the sports sausage was being made, so long as it was served to us in a tasty stew of exciting highlight reel plays and home team success. So when discussing Big Mac—or A-Rod, Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, or any of the other big names of the era—let’s simply acknowledge the obvious:  they were juiced men playing against other juiced men. In evaluating their achievements, compare them to each other, not against players from some prior era. If their achievements relative to the players of their own era merit their inclusion in the Hall of Fame, so be it. Let them in, and move along.

As for what message might be sent by rewarding athletes who flouted the PED rules, well once again I don’t give a flying pig if athletes decide to juice up. PEDs certainly pose health risks, but grown men can decide for themselves whether the risk is worth the reward, much as we allow people to decide whether to pursue any risky occupation or activity. Setting a good example for kids sounds like a valid concern, but the concern is misplaced. High school and college players shouldn’t be permitted to use PEDs because most PEDs are versions of hormones whose effect on adolescents is unknown and may well be dangerous to their health. But we don’t ban adults from using tobacco or alcohol simply because they may be dangerous to children. Protecting kids from the risks of PEDs properly falls on parents and coaches, not on professional sports leagues or Olympic athletes.

The one group of people who have a valid objection to the use of PEDs on the professional level is that group of players who wish to play but do not want to risk the use of PEDs. To maintain a competitive equality with PED-using players, non-users may feel pressured to take PEDs they would otherwise avoid. The answer to this issue lies solely with the players themselves—if players don't want PEDs, the unions should express the desire of their memberships by consenting to mandatory drug testing with strong sanctions for violation of PED rules, and encouraging its members to self-police its own ranks through anonymous reporting of fellow players violating the PED rules. If PEDs are truly a problem in sports, then it is up to the athletes themselves to show the will to crack down on PEDs in a meaningful way, for the benefit of all the players.

As for me, so long as the players don’t care about PEDs, neither will I.