The WPBT Presents Food Porn

"We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink."

~ Epicurus

One of the great things about Vegas is that there are dozens of great places to eat crammed in a small area. On the Strip alone one can find excellent dining experiences at every price point and in every style of cuisine. Every trip I take to Vegas, I make it a point to treat myself to at least one meal each day that I can't experience in Des Moines. Sometimes it's as simple as a gourmet burger or top notch Mexican or Asian cuisine with a fun vibe, while at least once each trip I venture into a higher end steakhouse or TV chef food joint. There's no shame in having a cheap sandwich or chowing down at a mediocre buffet to accommodate time and travel budgets. But it's a damn shame to spend more than a day within an easy walk of so many interesting dining experiences and never veer off the fast food and buffet path.

During the recent WPBT, I got to enjoy several excellent meals. The culinary trip got off to a fast start Thursday night as I went straight from the airport to dinner at Jaleo in the Cosmopolitan. I met up with a hilarious group including Astin, April, Heather, Ryan, Dan, and Stephane, with an after dinner appearance by the lovely Miss Chako. Jaleo is a Spanish tapas restaurant with some intriguing options. We took turns ordering dishes to share with the table, and I can't think of a single dud. Some of my favorites were the lobster paella, the asparagus, the grilled mushrooms, and the Iberico ham fritters. My favorite dishes, however, were the salad of grilled Brussels sprouts and Serrano ham, the endive with goat cheese, and the veal cheeks. Even with wine and cocktails thrown in, the total bill still came in well under $100 per head. Not too shabby a start to the weekend's festivities!

Stephane, Miss Chako, & April at Jaleo.

Astin tries Jaleo's amazing gin & tonic.

A close up of the world's greatest gin & tonic.

Friday was my birthday, but because I stayed up until 9:00 a.m. playing poker, I slept in until mid-afternoon. Since I was staying at Paris and had a Total Rewards coupon for a free burger, I treated myself to a burger at Le Burger Brasserie, one of my favorite solo Vegas dining locations. I went with my standard—the Saveur, a lamb burger on a wheat bun with mushrooms, mozzarella, and herbs. Tasty! For some reason, I forgot to use my coupon, so my last meal of the trip—lunch on Monday—was a repeat trip for another lamb burger, this time built from scratch with pancetta, chevre, and roasted red peppers, with a side of sweet potato fries. A perfect end to a great culinary weekend!

My personalized lamb burger at Le Burger Brasserie.

Even though I was stuffed from my birthday burger, a small part of my stomach was jealous of the Friday night dinner antics of a group that included FTrain, MrChako, and culinary genius Astin. I know those three were enjoying a great meal at Raku because they tweeted a course by course rundown of the delectable dishes they were served, often with pictures. Just check out Astin's photos of the meal (here, here, here, and here) and tell me you aren't drooling just a little.

Saturday saw me waking up bright and early by 9:30 a.m., anticipating the noon WPBT tourney at Aria. My worries about pre-tourney sustenance were assuaged by a Twitter invite from Heather to join a motley crew for the brunch buffet at Wicked Spoon in the Cosmopolitan. I think it was most of the Jaleo crew, plus Chilly, Gus, Marty, and OhCaptain. This was easily the best buffet I have ever sampled (though in the interest of full disclosure, I have never tried the buffets at Wynn, Bellagio, or Aria). There was a great spread of food, including a salad bar I breezed past on the way to a meat carving station loaded with ham, linguica sausage, leg of lamb, turkey, slab bacon, and prime rib. I also grabbed single serve pots of short rib eggs Benedict, asiago gnocchi, and bacon mac 'n cheese, along with some awesome mushroom polenta and a variety of desserts. As is the case with most buffets, there were some hits and some misses, but overall the buffet offered great variety and good value for the money (~$30, $39 with the all you can drink mimosas and bloody marys). My personal favorites were the short rib eggs Benedict, leg of lamb, and bacon mac 'n cheese. Definitely worth another visit for dinner, where rumor has it there is a made to order mac 'n cheese station.

Plate 1: From bottom right, leg of lamb with chimichurri 

sauce, egg scramble, bacon mac 'n cheese, short rib 

eggs Benedict, bacon, apple turkey sausage, mushroom 

polenta, linguica sausage, and carved slab bacon.

Plate 2:  From bottom left, mini pecan pie, 

chocolate dessert cup, asiago gnocchi, prime rib,

and mixed berry shot glass dessert.

Plate 3:  From bottom center, passion fruit fudge,

chocolate passion fruit dessert shot, raspberry chocolate

dessert shot with gold flake, and molten chocolate

brownie in caramel sauce.

Pastry and dessert case.

Gelato bar.

Gay man's heaven—the hot meat station.

Saturday night rolled around, and I found myself headed to CarneVino, super chef Mario Batali's restaurant at Palazzo, with friends Caity, Carol (a/k/a the Black Widow of Poker), and Astin (living up to his reputation as a culinary slut). CarneVino is one of my favorite Vegas restaurants (as an aside, if you're in Vegas solo, eating at the bar in a fancy restaurant is a great dining option; no need to feel bashful!). Carol happens to be connected to the manager, so we were given a little hook-up for our meal. We began with pastrami with duck egg, another appetizer I've forgotten, and a tuna tartare compliments of the chef (thank you Carol!). The tartare was amazing! For the pasta course, we sampled the duck cannelloni, the duck liver and pork ravioli, and the gnocchi bolognese (again, compliments of the chef). For this course, the ravioli stole the show. For the entree course, Astin picked a solid barolo that paired well with our grilled veal sweetbreads, grilled venison with huckleberry demiglace, grilled lamb chops, and grilled bison. Despite my solid credentials as a former farm kid who showed livestock and judged meat, I was a sweetbreads virgin, and the ones here were underwhelming—not  bad, just not as amazing as the red meat dishes. My personal favorite had to be the venison—just a bit gamey like a good lamb dish, but melt in your mouth tender and exploding with flavor. However, what truly made the dinner a major highlight of my trip was getting to know my companions better, where they came from, how they tick, some of their quirks, and what makes them laugh. Dinner took almost three hours, but seemed to fly by in a wink. Truly a wonderful experience that made the whole WPBT trip worthwhile.

Caity, Carol, & Astin at CarneVino.

Sunday marked the winding down of the WPBT festivities, but my culinary adventures were not quite concluded. After cheering on some of our WPBT compatriots in the Rock 'N Roll Marathon, I found myself starving and headed to Lemongrass at Aria for a late dinner with Allen, Steve, and Dave. This dinner was a real treat, as I had really not had much interaction with these three gents beyond a cursory howdy and an hour or two at the poker tables. Despite reading their blogs and following them on Twitter, this dinner was the first chance I had to get to know them a little bit as regular folks. Well, perhaps irregular folks. In any event, dinner was an hour or two of laughs, and a truly memorable evening. One of the highlights was when Steve articulated my motto for fine dining and fine living—when you get the chance, you might as well try something new. For Steve and me, that meant diving into an appetizer of—cold jellyfish. The dish was actually quite tasty, with a surprisingly firm crunchy-chewy texture, seasoned with a little vinegar, sesame oil, and chili flake. Certainly not anything like what I expected, but something I would gladly order again. For my entree, I went with my standard Drunken Noodle, but this time, a "6" on the heat scale went to an unexpected inferno level, causing me to break out in a sweat quite noticeable on my fuzzy bald head. And yes, my companions might have noticed. But a little ribbing fit right into the light-hearted banter that made dinner a fun way to wrap up the WPBT weekend.

Jellyfish appetizer at Lemongrass.

As much as I love poker and degenerate gambling, what makes WPBT special is the people. And this trip, food gave me the opportunity to truly enjoy those people as people, not as poker players. Poker might bring us together, but all of us are much more than poker players. I'm grateful something as basic as food gave me the opportunity to glimpse the human sides of so many WPBT folks.

“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

~ Thorin Oakenshield in The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien

Cosmopolitan Burgers

Note:  The Ironman of Poker wrapped up last Sunday, and the official trip report is being compiled by cruise director Santa Claus. In the meantime, I'll share a few random posts that I'm certain won't make the final report.

I arrived in Vegas for IMOP VI at 9:30 a.m.Vegas time, the better to maximize my profits and enjoyment. After checking into my hotel (TI for the first two nights), I wandered up the Strip in search of lunch and a sports book. Ironman Bonnie had a "stone cold lock" with the Mizzou over, and half the Ironmen were texting me from the Meadows ATM, desperate to get in on the action (surprisingly, on the side Bonnie picked). So, I ducked into the Bellagio sports book to put down some cash. Of course, I was just walking out of Bellagio when Ironman Barbie texted me, desperate to get in on the action. The swanky new Cosmopolitan resort was dead ahead, and despite its lack of a poker room, I wanted to check it out. So I wandered in and was suitably impressed by the decor, including the massive multi-level chandelier / bar dominating the center of the casino floor. At some point, I will drink my way from bottom to top and back down, stopping for a specialty martini at each level of the bar.

I found the sports book on the second floor, got Barbie's action down (for a favorable half point, even), and then decided on a whim to lunch at Holsteins, the upscale burger joint across from the sports book. I've been to a number of Vegas burger joints both good and overrated, and Holsteins would fit in comfortably with my favorites. The layout is open, with upscale bar / classy casual restaurant decor. I ate at the bar which had three or four large screen TVs set into the wall above the bar, perfect for watching early conference playoff games. The hostess and the two bartenders were friendly, and service was fairly quick.

I started with a house special Bloody Mary while I waited for my food. The drink was tasty, and I appreciated the hint of cilantro in the mix. The one disappointment was the large prawn garnish, which looked tasty at a distance, but up close looked a little dried out, maybe from sitting on top of the garnish platter overnight. When my food arrived, I switched over to Rogue Dead Guy Ale; Holsteins gets bonus points for carrying this tasty brew.

The Holsteins menu is fairly comparable to the other upscale burger joints on the Strip, with a variety of meats for the burger (beef, lamb, turkey, pork, veggies), and a cornucopia of "gourmet" (a/k/a nontraditional) cheeses and toppings to complete the burger. Like its counterparts, Holsteins offers up a number of "specialty" burgers with a range of interesting flavor profiles. I was intrigued by the "Duck, Duck, Goose" burger with duck confit and foie gras stuffed into the burger, topped with pickled Anjou pear and mustard plum sauce; will definitely order this one next trip out. But I was craving some tanginess, and opted for the "Longhorn" burger (despite my aversion for all things Texas during football season).

It turns out I chose wisely. The Longhorn burger had a juicy beef patty sitting on tender smoked brisket, covered with a whiskey BBQ sauce, and topped with slaw. If you like BBQ, you will love this burger. The meat was perfectly cooked (easy to get either the burger or the brisket too dry), the BBQ sauce was tangy but not hot, and the slaw was nicely done to provide a cool, crunchy component. I don't know if the wheat bun was housemade, but it was certainly fresh and added to the flavors. Although I liked the crispy sweet potato fries, I was a little jealous of the duck fat fries ordered by a lady who sat down next to me. So, next trip, I'm going to give those a whirl.

Longhorn Burger (iPhone without flash makes

for crappy indoor photos; the burger looked 

much tastier than it appears in this photo)

Looking over the menu, Holsteins distinguishes itself from the crowd with a variety of homemade sausages. I would definitely want to try the bratwurst and Italian sausage sandwiches. On the appetizer side, I will need to bring a friend to try the Maine lobster mini-burgers, or maybe watch a game with orders of the "Bull's Balls" (deep-fried veal risotto balls) and "Philly Cheez Spring Rolls". Holsteins also offers the now-ubiquitous cornucopia of funky shakes and malts; I love my malts, but can't afford the calories. But, the ones I saw created looked divinely tempting.

Holsteins offers a good meal with a fun, friendly vibe, and I will definitely return to sample more of the menu. It more than holds its own against my other favorite burger places on the Strip—The Burger Bar (Mandalay Bay), Le Burger Brasserie (Paris/Bally's), and BLT Burger (Mirage). Each place offers tasty food, with its own trademark twist. So, if you like a tasty, quality burger, Holsteins is definitely worth a visit.

Of course, the farm kid in me has one small quibble—the name of the joint. Holstein cattle are known predominately for being dairy cattle, not beef cattle. When sold for meat, they generally wind up as run-of-the-mill ground beef, not the choice or prime beef associated with fine-dining. So, Holsteins don't evoke the same expectations of premium meat quality associated with, say, Angus or Kobe / Wagyu cattle. Still, "Holsteins" could be associated with the restaurant's premium shakes and malts, and let's face it, the name and color scheme of the breed are pretty cool. But, as long as the burgers remain so darn lip-smacking good, I will let the name issue slide.

A Holstein cow (image source).

Bob Loblaw on the WPBT

"There's more to life than strippers and booze and buckets of blood.  Why do you guys have buckets of blood?" 

—Michael Bluth (Jason Bateman), on Arrested Development

One of my favorite all-time TV comedies was the hilarious, and underappreciated, Arrested Development.  The show was filled with offbeat, zany characters* finding themselves in absurd situations, while cracking snappy one-liners.  Sounds a lot like the recent WPBT Winter Classic!

I arranged my annual Festivus solo trip to Vegas to coincide with the WPBT this year.  I figured I followed many of these folks' blogs, why not meet a few of them?  Not to mention their trip reports always seemed to involve a high degree of hilarity ...

So I departed Des Moines Thursday morning, landing in Vegas before noon.  My room at Planet Hollywood was not yet available, so I moseyed over to Aria to play some poker.  I ran into "Missing Flops", a Vegas lawyer who blogs on Vegas Poker Now, who was playing the 1:00 p.m. tournament. My poker session was pretty meh, but I did entertain myself by tormenting a hoodie.  This young kid would glare at me from under his hoodie anytime I raised or called his bet.  I had a decent read on his style, which was a basic uber-aggressive approach that might've been profitable three or four years ago.  So, I played a few pots with him, winning almost all of them.  One interesting hand I had some sort of suited gapper and limped UTG.  Hoodie raised to $15, got a couple of callers, so I repopped it to $75 straight; big glare and a muck.  The pièce de résistance was when I called him down in position with Q6 soooted for bottom pair after he three-barreled an unimproved Ace-King.  The glare after I rolled over that hand probably means I shouldn't expect a holiday card this year.  As I was walking back to Planet Hollywood to check into my room (themed around the forgettable—and for me, forgotten—movie Mimic), the Aria poker room tweeted:

@Grange95 thanks for coming out!

Unintentional comedy at its finest.

After checking into Planet Hollywood, I wandered down the Strip to play "flop a Royal" at Mirage.  I failed.  Then it was on to dinner with Poker Grump and Missing Flops at Dos Caminos in the Palazzo.  There was a great deal of merriment and some serious debate over poker and politics.  Then it was off to the Imperial Palace to check up on the WPBT crew at the Geisha Bar.

At this point, I was confronted with a horde of poker bloggers.  Lots of names and faces were learned and promptly forgotten.  Hey, I'm old now, it happens.  I do remember meeting Otis (resplendent in a white polyester sportcoat with faux suede trim), BuddyDank (central casting for any middle-aged slacker), Ian (central Iowa resident I had inexplicably never seen at a poker table before, and whose blogger name I forget; EDIT: It's NumbBono!), and Falstaff (a big ol' teddy bear who was carrying a pitcher of beer, but no glass.  Epic!).  The irrepressible F-Train made an appearance, and I also saw the famed Pauly at the nearby pai gow table, with a rowdy group of compatriots.

Although I'm a fairly outgoing person, being the newbie among a herd of old friends can be a little awkward.  So I wandered over to the IP's poker room.  I had to play some 2/4 LHE while waiting for a 1/2 NLHE seat to open, but that worked out just fine as Alaska Gal dealt me pocket Kings, flopped me a set, and I managed to get an old guy with KJ to think I was bullying him, resulting in a pot over $75.  Excellent!  I don't remember much of the 1/2 NLHE game, except that CaityCaity, CK, skidoo, Katkin, and Falstaff all put in appearances at various points in time.

I then wandered back to P-Ho, intending to go to bed, but instead being seduced by the siren song of a juicy NLHE game.  There were a couple of young guys I would see several times over the next few days, as well as a crazy Asian guy fresh off a baccarat session.  This guy would buy in for $300, leave it in the rack, and then go all-in preflop.  After a few rounds of this, with most folks folding, I screwed up the courage to call him with 44 and a $100ish stack.  I doubled up.  A few hands later, I call again, with 66, and held up.  A few hands later, I call again with 44, and again doubled up.  The other guys, however, were not doing as well, finding hands like AK, AJ, and QQ getting shot down by the crazy guy's trash hands.  It was the most insane poker I've seen, outside several sessions at Bally's after midnight (crazy Gremlin poker there!).  The weirdest moment came when the crazy guy mentioned that he was waiting for his suite to be set up.  Apparently, he was a high roller, and was hosting a party that afternoon, so he was having a stripper pole and shower installed in the living room.  Clearly I don't do Vegas properly.

Friday morning rolled around ... well, Friday noon rolled around, and I headed out to find some poker.  I decided to see what Bally's was like in the daylight hours.  Apparently, just as crazy.  I was seated next to a weird dude who seemed wired.  In between jitters, he would run off at the mouth, sharing that he preferred heroin to booze "because it doesn't affect my poker game as much", and bragging he not only once starred in porn (maybe back in the early 80s), he also "once was on TV and used to date strippers".  He hit on a nice Swedish lady at the table, including using this gem of a pickup line: "You're from Sweden?  I love IKEA and Swedish porn."  Unfortunately, he also was a bad poker player.  When I flopped a set and had trapped a kid overplaying Aces, PornStar calls my massive check-raise saying, "I need to gamble here."  Yes, the poker gods do reward donkeys, letting him flush my set for a monsterpotten.  Le sigh.

I met up with my Brooklyn gals, Mary and "Dawn Summers" (too many blogs to link), for dinner at the Grand Wok at MGM.  Joining us were several of their NYC crew, including Ross, F-Train, and VinNay.  Dawn and I took competing pictures of each other at the table:

After dinner, it was off to the MGM poker room for some cards and hilarity.  Instead, there were 2,000 drunk cowboys dancing at Centrifuge Bar, creating quite the ruckus.  I did play for a short time, including a hand where Josie dropped by to say hello, and saw me crack Aces with 9h4h; what a hot and fiery good luck charm she is!  I stayed long enough to see some smoking woman-on-woman action between CK and The Wife, then bailed for the quieter tables at Mirage.

Error.  Turns out, the Mirage was hosting the official National Finals Rodeo party in its sportsbook.  The entire sportsbook and surrounding casino floor space was crammed with cowboys and cowgirls dancing the night away.

 

In case you were wondering, why yes, that is a giant cactus in the middle of the Mirage sportsbook!  Now, lest you think I'm poking fun, let me be clear.  I grew up on a farm in western Nebraska, was in 4-H and FFA, did my share of showing and judging livestock at the county and state fairs, and had an uncle with a big cattle ranch in the Nebraska Sand Hills.  So, although I'm not a big rodeo fan, folks that are rodeo fans—complete with cowboy hats, cowboy boots, western cut jeans, western style shirts, and big shiny belt buckles—are part of my original tribe.  The band was actually quite good, and ripped through a ton of old school country hits (my favorite that night was a version of "Louisiana Saturday Night" that pretty much had the whole crowd two-steppin').  Regrettably, cowboys also can be donkeys—and lucky donkeys—at the poker tables, and after dodging quad aces then being whacked by two horrendous four-outers (is there any other kind?), I decided to pack it in for the night.

Of course, I had to stop by the P-Ho poker room, since it was conveniently located by the elevators to my room.  First hand I ran second nut flush into the nut flush, but then the tide turned as I started pounding greyhounds (to prevent scurvy, of course).  For my big hand of the night, I had K8 of crubs, flopped trip Kings, rivered quads, and got paid in full on my river shove (a 2x pot bet) by a young kid trying to impress his girlfriend with his Ace-rag bluff.  Now that's a hero call!  Thank you, come again!  I also had the pleasure of sitting next to a young Hungarian guy who recited lines from Rounders.  Nothing quite like a Hungarian doing an imitation of John Malkovich ("Teddy KBG") doing a bad Russian accent.

Saturday started off with the awesome WPBT tournament at Aria.  Since this didn't make it into my prior writeup of the tourney, I did want to mention I got to play for a bit with Chilly (who I knew from back in the day when I went to college with he and his wife), and also got to briefly meet the legendary Al Can't Hang (who is much smaller, quieter, and saner in real life than one might imagine).  EDIT:  I failed to mention a really interesting fellow I met during the tournament and later played some cash games with:  Travis, a/k/a "OnAFoldDraw".  Funny guy, good player, looking forward to hanging with him more next year.

After the tournament, I found myself walking over to MGM with Katkin, Dr. Chako, and The Wife to play mixed games.  The Doc and the Wife are awesome folks, very friendly and entertaining.  The Wife grew up in small town Wisconsin, so we found plenty to chat about.  For example, she had 50 or so people in her high school graduating class, while I had 7.  The mixed games were more donking than playing.  I did flop quad 9s in hold 'em against The Wife, and later tilted a fat guy with bad "Flock of Seagulls" hair into leaving the table after I kept calling him down when he tried to bluff (dude, bluffing in 3/6 limit? riiiigghhhttt).

The reindeer games came to a close when CK invited the Chakos and me to a comped dinner at Lemongrass in Aria.  This was a fantastic dinner, as we shared a couple of appetizers and four spicy Asian dishes.  I would highly recommend eating here with your Aria poker room comp dollars.  Even better than the food, however, was the company, as my dinner companions regaled me with amusing stories of prior WPBT hijinks as well as tales of their family lives.  That two hours was easily the highlight of my trip, and made me glad I had moved my Festivus trip to include the WPBT.  Good folks, those three.

After dinner, we cabbed it to Imperial Palace for some poker and to see who might be at the Geisha Bar.  At the bar, we saw Miami Don with his Golden Hammer trophy; a well-deserved win for a guy who had dominated my last table.  Pauly and some of the WPBT old guard were holding court, and I managed sightings of Astin and Katitude, two people I would love to chat with briefly next year.  Funny thing, I had pictured Astin as a brawny, outdoorsy guy, and in reality he's a sharp-dressing young professional type.  Katitude, though, fit my image of her.  Both seem to be pretty easy-going and entertaining.

I wandered over to the IP poker tables, where I lost a big pot to Grubette (at least, I think it was her), when my AcTc flopped top pair and a flush draw, and the turn card gave me altos dos pairs.  Regrettably, it also gave Grubette her gutterball Broadway, and I failed to improve.  My own fault though, for not raising enough on the flop.  However, I could hardly be gloomy because The Wife mentioned she was straddling at her table, which somehow led to her straddling me and giving me a lap dance during a Dealertainer rendition of "Achy Breaky Heart".  There were dozens of guys jealous of me at that point!

The evening progressed with other friends joining the action at various points, including Dawn, Mary, and CaityCaity.  There was one weird guy at the table, who dressed like he was touring with some bad 80s band.  The only other memorable hand of the session was when, for only the second time in my life, I folded Kings preflop.  A older, nitty guy had raised big, I reraised, and he proceeded to shove without hesitation.  I assumed he had Aces, and I also wanted to protect my ~$450 stack.  He rolled over ... A8 soooted.  Wow.  I play so bad.  (For what it's worth, the only other time I folded Kings preflop was under similar circumstances, but with far deeper stacks; I was wrong that time, too).

I headed back to P-Ho, where the late night game was in full crazy mode.  Two young guys at the table were trying to prop bet on all manner of stupid stuff, like whether the next person to walk past a certain spot would be male or female.  Thankfully, the louder one was a bad player, and donated ~$1,500 to the table.  Strangely, when the song "Danger Zone" came on, it turned out he not only had no idea the song was in the movie Top Gun, he had never even heard of Top Gun!  Kids these days ... However, this did lead to a hilarious remainder of the session, as we nicknamed the three young guys at the table wearing sunglasses "Goose", "Maverick", and "Iceman".

Sunday was much more sedate.  I skipped the WPBT festivities at Lagasse's Stadium in favor of sleeping in followed by a fun lunch at Hash House A Go Go with "Local Rock", a frequent poster on AVP.  I then tracked down Dr. Chako and The Wife at the Venetian/Palazzo compound in order to say goodbye.  This was followed by a rapid shopping trip for something to pay the spouse pass; I ended up getting the sig other a watch, since it was from a trendy designer he likes, it travels easily, and I about threw up in my mouth at the idea of spending $150-$200 for a shirt he wanted.

Shopping done, I returned to the Venetian to play some $1/$2 PLG (pot limit gambooool).  Also at the table were entertaining WPBT degenerates Drizz, Falstaff, and Katkin, along with a rotating assortment of crazy Canadians, a scary Scandi, and an alliterative Asian.  The game was great fun, and I even cashed out a nice profit.  One cooler hand I tweeted, where I flopped Kings-up with a flush draw and turned Kings-full:

Falstaff and I get it in on the turn, my Ks full of 8s vs. his KQ76. He calls for the Queen. I cry. #PLG #wpbt

There was another big hand, this time where I folded on the flop to monster three-way action.  I folded a monster draw that I think should have been a call, but I'll post the hand later for comments.  Anyway, a little before midnight, Katkin and I cashed out and went to Noodle Asia for some food and interesting poker and politics chat.  If you ever have a chance to sit down with Katkin, do it.  Fascinating fellow.

I headed back to P-Ho, popping into Imperial Palace briefly to say goodbye to Dawn and Mary.  The P-Ho late night game was in full crazy swing, yet I couldn't get much traction.  My final hand of the trip involved me getting it all-in three ways on the flop with Ac2c vs. CaityCaity's 99 and some young ET's 88.  Final board: Qc56c79.  Yup, not only did crubs not get there (thanks so much, CK), but Caity's set gave ET his miracle straight.  Yup, I run awesome.

During this trip, I had experienced every kind of negative variance.  I lost to 2-outers, 3-outers, and 4-outers.  I was outflopped, turned, and rivered.  I was outdrawn, but couldn't hit my monster draws.  I ran into set over set, straight over straight, flush over flush, boat over boat, and yes, even ran into quads.  Still, Vegas did have one last bad beat waiting for me, even after I put away the remnants of my Vegas bankroll.**  I got into a cab Monday morning to head to the airport.  Upon learning that I play poker, my cabbie proceeded to suck five minutes out of my soul by regaling me with his brother's bad beat story.  For those who care, his brother was supposedly playing $5/$10 NLHE at the Venetian, flopped quad Kings, and lost to a rivered royal flush (the other guy had QJ soooted and flopped the open-ended straight flush draw).  The cabbie was outraged the Venetian didn't have a badbeat jackpot, "like the Orleans, or other good poker rooms".  Please, join me in lighting a candle to the poker gods tonight in memory of this guy who now is apparently also driving cabs, trying to rebuild his poker bankroll.

I returned to Iowa to find single-figure temperatures, sub-zero windchills, and snow.  But, a happy Berkeley was there to snuggle up and keep me warm, and it was nice to actually get home.  Still, my Festivus/WPBT adventures were a ton of fun, and I look forward to next year when I can see my all my friends old and new, and hopefully meet more of the WPBT folks.  Notables on the "to meet" list:  Bayne, BadBlood, Iggy, StB, and April, though I quite likely met at least some of these folks and had no idea who they were.  

And next year, my 85 offsuit will hold up.

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* My favorite character name on the show was "Bob Loblaw", an attorney who also wrote a blog, "The Bob Loblaw Law Blog".  Say his name out loud and you'll get why his character always made me crack up.

** Actually, I ran well enough that, although it was a losing trip, most of the big pots I lost cut into my profits for that session, rather than into my initial buy-in.  Still, a small losing trip could've been a monster winning trip had the poker gods been just a bit more kind on a few key hands.

Fine—And Not So Fine—Dining at Palazzo

Last weekend, the sig other and I were in Vegas with two of his gal pals (and coworkers) for a quick getaway.  Thanks to the Venetian's excellent poker room rate, I was able to secure an awesome 30th floor suite at the Palazzo overlooking their pools and the Strip.  Plus, the poker room rate gives me a built-in excuse for avoiding the gals' festivities:  "I'd love to go shopping and boozing with you, but I have to make sure I get my hours in for the room rate."  [Cue fake wistful smile with sad puppy dog eyes.]

Although I turned the gals loose on the Strip most of the day, I did make sure to meet up with them for one nice meal every evening.  With all the great restaurants available in Vegas, it'd be a shame not to try a few of them out.  Friday evening, I met the gals at the Laguna Champagne Bar for a pre-dinner cocktail.  Laguna is pretty much dead center on the Palazzo casino floor. right along the main corridor from the lobby and Lagasse's Stadium to the room elevators.  Although it is a full service bar, its gimmick is champagne-based cocktails.  The gals had stopped by in the afternoon and found a couple of favorites.  So when we sat down, the gals demanded a round of "Bubbilicious" drinks, insisting they were "amaaaazing!"  When the drinks arrived, the gals realized they had ordered the wrong drink; the Bubbilicious was made with Campari (a variety of bitters), and was neither bubbly nor delicious (Campari is an acquired taste I have yet to acquire).  After conferring with (er, interrogating) the bartender, the gals determined that the cocktail they had tried earlier was the Flower Eclipse, made with champagne and elderflower liqueur, and garnished with a couple of fresh raspberries floating in the pale yellow drink.  A round of uber-tasty Flower Eclipses proved just the ticket for a hilarious recapping of the day's hijinks.  The Flower Eclipse was, in fact, amaaaazing!

Then, it was off to Table 10, an Emeril Lagasse restaurant in the Palazzo, located at the second floor Palazzo Shops level, easily accessible by the escalators in the casino or the atrium just off the casino floor.  The sig other and I had enjoyed a nice, casual lunch in the Table 10 bar on a prior trip, so we were anxious to see what the dinner experience would bring.

It certainly didn't bring iced tea.  Despite several reminders, I'm still waiting for my beverage.

For appetizers, we ordered the crab cake and the cheesy popovers.  The popovers were OK, but not memorable; the hot dinner rolls were significantly tastier.  The crab cake, however, was moist and delicious, sided with a sauce that had a little kick.  Not a bad start to the meal.  The plates were cleared, more wine was poured for the gals, and we sat back to wait for our entrées.

And wait we did.  The gals became impatient after 15 minutes, and soon, the phrase "Where's our freakin' food?" began to be a common refrain randomly thrown into other conversation, humorously at first, then less so.  I'm a little more patient, and was a lot less lubricated, so I kept the gals under control.  But around the 30 minute mark, even I had to concede that things were dragging on a bit.  I asked our server to check on our food, and he agreed.  Ten more minutes passed, and we had neither food nor a report on the food's status.  I again inquired about our food with a different server working our section (our server was nowhere to be seen).  She said she'd have the manager check into it. 

One of our inquiries must have jolted things loose in the kitchen, and nearly an hour after our appetizers had been eaten and probably digested, our entrées arrived.   The sig other's chicken looked and smelled tasty, but when he went to cut into it, it turned out to be as rubbery and dry as wedding reception buffet chicken.  One of the gals had ordered a steak, which came presliced for her.  She had ordered it medium, but the meat was dark red with juices pooling in the center of the slices.  I tried a bite, and found it cooked rare; I love my beef medium-rare to rare, and this steak was on the far end of what even I would find acceptable.  So, I turned to my duck.  I love duck because of its unique mildly gamey flavor, plus it marries well with a variety of sauces (my favorite is a classic sour cherry sauce).  But the best reason to order duck is that, because of its high fat content, it is always rich and succulent.  Duck is essentially impossible to overcook.

Table 10's chefs achieved the impossible.

Our server had earlier provided us with steak knives, which I figured would be unnecessary for a duck dish.  As always, trust your server.  I tried to cut into my duck, expecting it to essentially fall off the bone with little effort.  Instead, my knife slid off the meat.  With a little effort and some sawing, I was able to free most of the meat from the bone, but left behind quite a bit more than I would have expected.  The meat itself was dry and chewy, and the flavor—well, as the old saying goes, "Tastes like chicken."  Of course, had I wanted chicken, I would have ordered chicken.

We ate our meals, and I paid the check, which included the iced tea (I fully expect they will have a fresh glass waiting for me next month when I return to Vegas).  In hindsight, I'm certain what happened is that our poultry dishes were fired first, and the beef dish was overlooked.  So, when we started asking about our food, our poultry dishes were being kept warm (and drying out) while someone scrambled to put out a steak that was undercooked and hadn't been allowed to rest properly.  Now, I know some diners would have sent their entrées back to the kitchen, but by that point, none of us were willing to risk the additional delay.  Plus, I'm just not a guy who sends things back.  I figure if the chef gave his stamp of approval to a dish and sent it out to me, he's telling me he thinks the dish meets his standards.  If I don't like how he cooks, I'm not going to tell him I think he's wrong, I'm just not going to come back again.

In any event, Table 10 was a major disappointment.  In fairness, I have greatly enjoyed two of Emeril's other restaurants in Vegas—his New Orleans Fish House in the MGM Grand, and his Delmonico Steakhouse in the Venetian (site of several Ironman jacket dinners).  Also, even fine establishments have bad nights, and the Table 10 crew may have just been overwhelmed by an unexpectedly large weekend crowd.  But with all of the great places to eat in Vegas, there's really no reason for me to ever return to Table 10.

Saturday morning rolled around, and our crew was off to another Emeril establishment—his Lagasse's Stadium sports bar in the Palazzo.  This is unquestionably a great spot to watch football, with comfy seating, plenty of TVs, and good beer and drink specials so you don't go broke rooting on your team (well, unless you make a silly sports wager).  Based on two visits (the first was last fall shortly after it opened), the Stadium is great for watching sports and having a drink, but skip the food.  The appetizers range from "meh" to "ugh" (the spinach-artichoke dip is more like a slimy soup).  Entrées appear decent, but for the price, there are plenty of better dining options a short walk away.  The Iowa Hawkeyes pulled out a miracle victory, so we parted ways in a happy—and for the gals, an intoxicated—mood.

Saturday evening found the gals hungry and looking for something a little unusual.  So, I suggested SushiSamba, a Palazzo restaurant based on a fusion of Brazilian, Peruvian, and Japanese influences (such a "been there, done that" mix, eh?).  The sig other and I had previously enjoyed dinner at SushiSamba, which is unusual given the sig other's aversion to sushi.  Even with the place hopping and no reservations, we were still seated for dinner before our cocktails were ready at the bar.  The specialty mixed drinks were ~$12 each, and worth it.  I had a caipirhana and a mojito-esque creation; both were exceptional, as were the other random cocktails ordered by the gals.  For dinner, one of the gals and I ordered four sushi rolls; all were good, but our favorite was the creative "Pacific roll" which combined king crab, asian pear, avocado, and a wasabi crema.  The sig other and our other gal each had a steak robata, which came thin-sliced with a variety of dipping sauces; the best was one red pepper-based with a great spicy kick.  For dessert, we shared a plate of fresh deep-fried donut balls, with a hazelnut-chocolate dipping sauce; it was a great way to top off a top-notch meal.

SushiSamba is a bit on the pricey side, but it is a great dining experience if you don't mind spending $60-$70 per person (that's with two cocktails each; deduct $25 from those prices if you aren't drinking).  Also, our server offered to let us name our price per person, and our taste preferences, which she would then give to the chef to create a tasting menu tailored to our group.  Certainly a good option to keep in mind for future visits.

A Teddy KGB Dinner

"Just like a young man, coming in for a quickie.  I feel so unsatisfied."

—Teddy KGB (John Malkovich) in "Rounders"

My recent Vegas weekend getaway was helpfully extended by the scheduling geniuses at United Airlines, so the sig other and I unexpectedly found ourselves at Harrah's Sunday evening.  Looking for a casual dinner, we wandered into the relatively new KGB, the upscale burger joint run by "celebrity" chef Kerry Simon.  Being a Food Network junkie, I had a vague familiarity with Chef Simon, but I hardly consider him as famous or as talented as he views himself.  Oh well, huzzah for narcissism!

We waited a few minutes at the vacant hostess stand until a rather provocatively clad young Asian woman approached us.  Now, the theme of the joint is supposed to be some kind of Russian industrial warehouse (just guessing; the decor is rather disjointed), so an Asian woman dressed in black fishnet leggings and a skimpy Victoria's Secret-esque outfit kind of seems out of place.  I suspect my traditional male readers would overlook the cognitive dissonance, while my traditional female readers would shoot withering glares at their male companions.  Seriously, I know it's Vegas and all, but do we really need a tramp one step removed from a porn slapper card seating folks at a burger joint?

The servers were males in jeans and white polos, who took casual attitudes over the edge into excessively familiar indifference.  Apparently management refuses to make sex objects out of their (male) employees.  Good for them, not so good for those of us non-traditional males and traditional females wanting a little equal time.  Still, it was a friendly vibe, so not a bad place for a relaxing dinner.  Also, the ostentatious single block of ice running the length of the bar, chilling numerous bottles of vodka, added a little Vegas pizzazz.

The burgers themselves come either in a handful of specialty burgers, or in a build-your-own approach.  I suspect most folks won't have much interest in the chef's creations, and the sig other and I were in that crowd.  So we commenced building.

Hmmm, $1 for lettuce?  Another buck for tomato?  And mustard or mayo?  And pickles?  And cheese?  And for bacon, mushrooms, or any other relatively standard topping?  Look, there were a few interesting toppings, and one could probably build a hundred different burgers with all the ingredient combinations.  But there were no "wow!" ingredients or interesting side dishes like one might find at The Burger Bar, Le Burger Brasserie, or BLT Burger.  I tried the vodka-cured peppers and was underwhelmed.  My burger itself had gorgonzola, wild mushrooms, and red pepper aioli.  The toppings were fine, but the burger was overwhelmed by the oversized jalapeno-cheddar bun, not to mention overcooked to the point of Saharan dryness (though I requested it medium).  I love sweet potato fries, but the sweet potato tater tots were bland as rice puffs.  The specialty cocktails (we sampled the premium margarita, blackberry mojito, passion fruit Moscow mule, and blackberry Collins) were quite tasty, but they should have been at $10 a pop.

All things considered, it wasn't a horrible meal, but for the price, I could've had a great dinner at any number of better burger joints.  I feel so ... unsatisfied.

Vegas Odds & Ends

Just a few random items from my trip to Vegas last week that don't merit individual posts.

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St. Patrick's Day Miracle:  My crew liked to party, so when I met them for late dinner on St. Paddy's Day, they were well-lubricated.  One member of our group tried to flirt with the busboy at Yolo's in Planet Hollywood, but apparently her words were a bit slurred:

Gal:  "You're gorgeous!"

Busboy:  "Did you say 'rigor mortis' ?"

Later, as I escorted the crew back across the overpass to Aria, they proceeded to pinch everyone who wasn't wearing green, and also shouted "Trolls!" and "Hey girl!" at random passersby.  The routine may have gotten a bit out of hand at Aria, as the security guards in their orange sportcoats became pinching targets (and were also labeled "trolls").  Thankfully, I got them all back to the room before bail money became necessary.  Like I said, it was a miracle.

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Todd English's P.U.B. at City Center:  I am a big fan of mega-chef Todd English's Mediterranean-influenced Olives restaurant in Bellagio.  So I was excited to try out his P.U.B. ("Public Urban Bar"—how precious), located at the end of the corridor connecting Aria's lobby to the Crystals shopping center.  We ate lunch early one afternoon, the day after the "official" grand opening and a few days after the dwarf and celebrity laden "VIP opening".  I went into the P.U.B. with the excitement of flopping an open-ended straight flush draw, and left with the disappointment of losing to Yak-high after whiffing all my outs.

The ambience is the high point of the P.U.B. experience.  It is a "classy" sports bar setting, with beautiful marble bar and lots of hard wood decor.  There are plenty of TVs for watching sports events, and dartboards for those who want a little friendly competition.  The bar offers a wide range of British and Irish beers on tap and by bottle/can, with pints on tap going for a fairly reasonable price (by Vegas standards).  As part of the opening week event, special pint glasses could be purchased for $20, with a discount on refills, and a portion of the proceeds going to a worthy medical charity.

Unfortunately, our group wanted more than a bar.  After an inexplicable 10 minute wait for a table to "open up" (despite there being at least ten tables open), we were finally seated.  Our server turned out to be a snotty, overbearing yahoo who quite literally talked down his nose at us the entire time.  Apparently, we looked like folks who had never had a fine dining experience better than a Happy Meal. 

In any event, the P.U.B. offers a raw seafood bar built into the bar, but if I want good seafood in Vegas, I have plenty of places to go where I know I'll enjoy the food. The main menu is primarily burgers and sandwiches, with an assortment of salads and traditional British pub food (with a twist, of course).  The twist on the sandwiches is that they are "deconstructed", meaning the chef can't be bothered to put meat onto bread for you.  There are probably ten different roasted meats available, including sirloin, lamb, turkey, chicken, pulled pork, and brisket.  You can order a half pound of any meat for $12-$20 (depending on meat), and then choose two homemade sauces and bread to go with the meat.  I went with lamb, black truffle mayo, bleu cheese sauce, and rye bread.  The meat and bread were dry and chewy, though both sauces were exquisite, so I at least had some good flavor to savor while gnawing my un-sandwich.

My compatriots were also disappointed.  The turkey was as dry as my lamb.  The chicken was not only deconstructed, it was debutchered, coming to the table in two family picnic-style pieces.  Let's just say that it's a bit tough to turn chicken on the bone into a sandwich on a pub table.  All of the sandwiches were sided with a mini-bucket of pickled veggies (cauliflower, carrots, and some mini-cukes) that even my puppy would find inedible.  Our server raved about the sweet potato fries, which were decent, but not nearly as good as those offered by the Burger Bar or BLT Burger.  The sole bright spot in the meal were the chicken sliders ordered by one of our group; they were juicy and a little spicy, and came with some kind of slaw that really worked with the sandwiches. 

When it was time to leave, it took us over ten minutes to get our server's attention so we could get the bill.  I would go back to the P.U.B. to watch sports, but when I do, I'm sitting at the bar and sticking to beer and sliders.

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Dancing with the Tourists:  One afternoon, I was heading to Planet Hollywood from Bellagio.  I was on the elevated moving walkways heading toward the Strip when the music being played overhead turned to the 'N Sync classic, "Bye Bye Bye".  Now, let's face it, this is one of those songs that, try as you might to pretend to hate it, you start humming and tapping your toes when it comes on.  Well, on the opposite walkway riding toward me were five 30-something guys who were doing more than that—they were doing a semi-synchronized dance routine with all the moves from 'N Sync's original video!



You know you are going to watch it ... go ahead ... we'll wait ...

(Here's a link to the video, just in case there was an embedding fail.)

Out of all the crazy stuff I've seen in Vegas over a couple dozen trips, this was likely the most absurd.  I hope for these guys' sake they were being inducted into a cool Ironman of Poker type of club.  Unfortunately, they were probably reliving their old fraternity days when performing that routine in college bars was the ultimate pickup line.

What happens in Vegas ...

Where's the (Vegas) Beef?

Sometimes, even on vacation, you just want a tasty burger.  During my last couple of trips to Vegas, I've finally been able to try two burger joints (In-N-Out Burger and The Burger Bar) that had previously eluded my best eating efforts.  Having checked those two spots off the list, I can now offer my tourist's guide to Vegas burgers.

In-N-Out Burger—The franchise closest to the Strip is at 4888 Dean Martin Drive, which is essentially a couple minutes drive west on Tropicana from New York New York.  Set your expectations dial on "greasy spoon" and you'll enjoy the experience.  I had the double cheeseburger "Animal Style" (mustard-grilled patties, extra spread, and grilled onions).  It was a juicy, greasy, satisfying burger.  The fries were a little undercooked and underwhelming, even under a blanket of cheese and grilled onions.  Overall, a good meal, but I can't say that I get the cult-like devotion many people have for this chain (similar to the cult of White Castle).  I think Smashburger and Culver's offer significantly tastier burgers for chains.  But at 2:00 a.m., In-N-Out is a solid Vegas option, particularly for those who may have had a drink or ten.

Margaritaville—Located on the Strip as part of the Flamingo complex, Margaritaville offers decent but not special burgers at decent but not special prices.  But the burgers are plenty tasty when combined with a margarita or three.  Also try the appetizers: the nachos are huge, while the crab/shrimp/mushroom cheese dip is particularly decadent (but not for the Lipitor crowd).

The Burger Bar—The original "upscale" burger restaurant by acclaimed French chef Hubert Keller*, The Burger Bar is located in the Mandalay Place shops between Mandalay Bay and Luxor.  You can get Black Angus, grass-fed, or Kobe beef burgers, as well as bison, ostrich, turkey, or veggie burgers.  Then, you can pick a chef's selection of toppings, or build your own burger, selecting from normal toppings like mushrooms, cheese, and bacon, or going more daring (and expensive) with foie gras, truffles, or caviar.  You can also get a variety of amazingly tasty housemade sauces in lieu of the standard mustard and ketchup, and a variety of fresh baked buns are offered for all burgers.  The sweet potato fries and thick cut onion rings were exceptional.  Order one of the dessert "burgers" or milkshakes to satisfy your sweet tooth. The vibe is a "classy" sports bar/pub, and there are plenty of interesting beers on tap and in bottle, as well as some house specialty drinks.  Service was friendly and fairly quick.  Altogether a highly satisfying dining experience.  Be prepared to spend $25-$35 per person (including an alcoholic beverage), but it is worth the price.

BLT Burger—The "BLT" stands for "Bistro Laurent Tourondel" after another acclaimed chef with a chain of eateries.  BLT Burger is located in Mirage, just down the hall from the entrance next to the Caesars Forum shops, near the sports book and poker room.  Again, you can choose from a number of base burgers (Angus, Kobe, lamb, turkey, chicken, salmon, and veggie), but the toppings are significantly more limited, as are the bun and drink selections.  The sweet potato fries are excellent, and the jalapeno poppers are the best I've ever had—large peppers filled with a smoky chipotle cheese, sided with a spicy-sweet salsa.  Huge milkshakes are available, with or without your favorite booze or liqueur.  Ambience is contemporary/trendy bistro, and the servers wear t-shirts with a variety of humorous sayings, such as "Tip waiters, not cows."  Again, a meal will run $25-$35 per person (including an alcoholic beverage), and again, definitely worth the price.

Le Burger Brasserie—This is what a French sports bar would look like, if the French had real sports.  Located on the walkway between Paris and Bally's, Le Burger Brasserie offers Angus beef, Kobe beef, chicken, turkey, veggie, and lamb burgers (I highly recommend the lamb burger), in a variety of chef-selected versions, or in a build-your-own mode.  There is a good variety of toppings; I suggest trying prosciutto or pancetta in lieu of basic bacon, while goat cheese and pesto add an interesting twist.  You also can select from a number of fresh-baked bun styles.  The sides are rather pedestrian, but the thick fries are a solid choice and plenty to accompany a very generously-sized burger.  Ambience is upscale sports bar, including provocatively clad waitresses (for those into such things).  There is a full bar with daily drink specials (2-for-1 drinks during certain hours, and cheap buckets of beer).  A meal will run a little cheaper than the other two upscale places, more on the order of $20-$25 per person (including an alcoholic beverage).

Although I enjoyed all of these places and would recommend all of them, based on a combination of food quality, location, and price, it's not surprising I have eaten most often at Le Burger Brasserie.  But if you are looking to impress, the culinary creativity at The Burger Bar is a notch above the rest.

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* The significant other was reviewing the menu and asked me, "Why is there a Helen Keller burger?"  This occurred while we were both stone sober.  'Nuff said.