The Great Chako Death March

While traveling home from Christmas in Nebraska, I noticed that Dr. Chako had posted his New Year's resolutions. One caught my eye:

But a new year is coming. I've settled into a routine of sorts, and I'm ready to try again. This time I think I can achieve the workout goal. Here's my plan - I'm going to run 365 miles in 2011. It should be attainable, right? Who can't go an average of 1 mile a day? My friend Laurie just cleared 1000 running miles in 2010 (awesome, BTW). Mine should be a piece of cake (mmm, cake). I have some additional motivators, not the least of which is the Mud Run at the end of April with the G-Vegas crew (seriously, are you building Mastodon around this?). I'd also like to run a couple other races, too. I did the Angel Island 12K last January and it was a blast. I'd like to do it again. I also wouldn't mind running at least a 5K every other month - I think I can get my time below 25 minutes. I'm also seriously planning on bringing my running shoes to the next #WPBT.

Running has always been my workout of choice. Back in my late 20s and early 30s, I would average over 40 miles a week, would do several road races each summer, and even ran a marathon. As an aside, the marathon was a major error—the race was in a nature preserve with "Alligator Crossing" signs every half mile or so, leading me to fear that if I came up lame, I'd wind up on the "prey" side of a nature movie. Anyway, although my mileage has dropped off the past few years, I do enjoy running to relax, do some thinking, and keep myself in some semblance of shape.

Unfortunately, I hurt my foot in April, and my running has gone down while my weight has gone up. My foot has finally healed to the point I can run 15-20 miles per week, and the past couple of weeks I've started getting back into a regular running routine. I figured Dr. Chako and I could both use a little incentive to achieve our workout goals, and what's better motivation than fine dining in Vegas? So, after a couple of text messages, the good doctor and I have reached the following challenge:

• From January 1, 2011 through the WPBT in December, we will both keep track of our running mileage.
• I am spotting Dr. Chako 2:1 on the mileage. If he hits his goal of 365 miles, I will need to run 730 miles to push on the wager. Of course, the more he runs, the more I'll need to run, which is a good thing.
• Winner gets dinner for four at his restaurant of choice in Vegas during WPBT. Right now, I'm thinking CarneVino or Craftsteak, but please post your suggestions / motivations in the comments.

Now I take this challenge very seriously; I am playing to win. So, I have enlisted a secret weapon, my super-trainer, Berkeley. Berkeley loves running with me, though he mostly does a fast trot or easy lope to match my slow pace. However, at inopportune moments, Berk will decide we need to sprint for a few blocks, usually to chase a rabbit, bicycle, or car. Unfortunately, my running route follows a bike trail and a couple of major streets, so there is far too much sprinting. Also, sometimes Berk will taunt me by grabbing the leash in his mouth and alternately sprinting and running sideways, jerking me forward, encouraging me to run faster. 

At this point, I think there are even odds whether Berk kills me via heart attack before the WPBT dinner, or the dinner itself finishes me off. I'm really hoping it's the latter ...

(Image source).

D-Bag O' the Day (v.1.16)—The FDA Goes "Loko"

Over the past couple of weeks, several states have overreacted to a spike in alcohol-related deaths among college students by rushing to ban a popular alcoholic energy drink—Four Loko.   Like many popular energy drinks, Four Loko contains caffeine, taurine, and guarana, with a 23 ounce can providing roughly the equivalent caffeine content as a tall Starbucks coffee.  Four Loko also contains alcohol equivalent to many malt liquor beverages, ranging from 6% to 12% ABV (12-24 proof).  By comparison, most wine is roughly 12%-15% ABV, while hard alcohol generally clocks in at 35%-45% ABV (70-90 proof).

Anyway, I didn't think much of the Four Loko loco-ness initially; after all, it's hardly news when a state or municipal government does something silly to "protect" its residents from the health crisis du jour.  But the Four Loko crisis achieved D-Bag O' the Day status when the federal government decided to get involved:

Last November the Food and Drug Administration warned 27 companies that they probably were breaking the law by selling beverages that contain alcohol and caffeine, since this combination has never been officially approved.  Today, after a year of review, the FDA is expected to announce that it was right; caffeinated alcoholic beverages are illegal.  Rather than seize all existing stocks of Four Loko, Joose, etc., the FDA probably will send more letters, warning the manufacturers that they are producing "adulterated" beverages.

—Jacob Sullum, "Four Loko Banned ... by Its Manufacturer (One Step Ahead of the FDA)", Reason Hit & Run Online (Nov. 17, 2010).

Let me get this straight—putting caffeine in an alcoholic beverage creates an "adulterated" beverage?!?  Excuse me, but we aren't talking strychnine, or cocaine, or opium here.  We're talking about caffeine, quite possibly the world's most commonly used "drug".  In a typical day at the office, I probably drink 3-5 cups of coffee, and down an additional 3-5 cans of diet cola.  At the poker table, I routinely drink a diet cola, cup of coffee, or cup of green tea every half hour, for stretches of up to 15 hours at a time.  I suspect there are tens of millions of American adults who consume substantial amounts of caffeine on a regular basis.

So is it the combination of alcohol and caffeine that poses a health risk?  Some of the people interviewed for stories about Four Loko seem to think that combining the intoxicating effect of alcohol with the stimulant effect of caffeine somehow creates a dangerous situation by making drunk folks more alert.  Has the FDA ever heard of, oh, maybe ... Rum and coke?  Whiskey and coke?  Irish coffee?  Or how about the premier cocktail of the young and trendy for nearly a decade—Vodka Red Bull?  Hmm, that seems an awful lot like an alcoholic energy drink.  Frankly, the alcoholic content of some Vodka Red Bulls likely exceeds the alcoholic level of Four Loko; it can be hard to know the alcoholic content if one doesn't see the drink being mixed. 

College kids have been mainlining Vodka Red Bulls at clubs, at parties, in bars, and at the poker tables for years now; on my Vegas poker trips the past few years, I would have to say that Vodka Red Bull is the most common mixed drink ordered at the poker tables (followed closely by classic caffeinated booze cocktails like Jack & Coke and Captain & Coke).  Although I personally hate the taste of Red Bull, many of my friends drink Vodka Red Bulls, including several of the Ironmen while at the poker tables.  I can't see any health hazard from their choice of beverage, though it certainly doesn't help their meager poker skills.  It's no coincidence that Vodka Red Bull has earned the nickname "The Devil" (or "The Debil" several drinks in to a session) among the Ironmen.

Alcohol-related deaths are always tragic, because they are preventable.  Alcohol-related deaths among college-age (or younger) folks are especially tragic, given that they usually arise from binge-drinking (often with some sort of peer pressure involved).  But these deaths are not the result of an energy drink problem nor a caffeinated alcohol problem; they are the result of an alcohol abuse problem.  Kids can easily mix up an alcohol-energy drink cocktail if they want.  Banning premixed versions of such beverages won't solve a binge-drinking problem, and may in fact make the problem worse if kids wind up mixing their own super-strong versions of Vodka Red Bull (or their personal alcohol-energy drink cocktail of choice).  Back in my college days, beer kegs were banned from campus parties.  So, we turned to hard liquor, and got hammered on kamikazes, lemon drop shots, cheap tequila, bad vodka, Captain & Coke, Jack & Coke, and of course, Jägermeister.  I have no doubt the keg beer was actually safer for students.  I suspect a similar phenomenon will occur with today's kids.  The FDA's ban on caffeinated alcoholic beverages won't stop kids from binge-drinking and occasionally dying.  All the ban will do is change the kind of alcohol they consume while binge-drinking.

To be blunt, this FDA ban of alcoholic energy drinks is worse than pointless.  The ban is a superficial bandage that makes the public think their government has acted decisively to fix an alcohol-related death problem, when in fact the real issue—our country's culture of youth binge-drinking—continues to fester untreated.  It's shameful that the FDA, with its expertise in drug safety, is pandering to the public hysteria over these alcoholic energy drinks without any scientific evidence that the drinks are any more dangerous than caffeinated or alcoholic beverages in general, or pose any health risk not found with cocktails which use a caffeinated mixer.  The FDA's pious posturing on this issue is nothing more than a public relations charade.  It's enough to drive one to drink.

Vodka Red Bull, anyone?

Getting Skinny on Fat Tuesday

“It’s funny ‘cause he’s fat!”
—Mr. Chow in “The Hangover”

With Mardi Gras—Fat Tuesday—upon us again, I found it rather ironic that Kevin Smith—director of such classic movies as Clerks—was in the news this past weekend after being deemed too fat to fly by Southwest Airlines. Smith Tweeted the entire experience, including several epic sarcastic rants against Southwest. My favorite Tweet occurred after Smith was allowed to fly on another Southwest flight:

“Hey @SouthwestAir! I've landed in Burbank. Don't worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.”
—@thatkevinsmith (Feb. 14, 2010)

Now, airlines on occasion may have a valid reason to restrict service to passengers whose size unduly imposes on the safety or comfort of other passengers. But it seems like Southwest Airlines was out of line in this particular situation.

In many ways, as society has grown more tolerant and accepting, and overt discrimination based on gender, race, disability, and even sexual orientation has subsided, discrimination against the overweight and obese (or “fat people” to be blunt) is one of the few remaining socially acceptable prejudices.* Tasteless, even cruel, “fat jokes” are fair game for a quick laugh on TV or in the movies, while a joke based on gender or religion requires careful crafting to avoid offending viewers. Now, I’m not saying every fat joke is inappropriate; heck, as a gay man, I think there are plenty of gay jokes that are hilarious. Chris Rock has made a fortune with racially based humor. Notable comics like John Candy, Chris Farley, and Louie Anderson made entire careers out of playing up the lovable fat guy schtick.

When it comes to the overweight members of our society, however, I think there remains a stigma that overweight people are fat by choice. People see an overweight person and implicitly assume that that person could be a normal weight if only they ate healthier and worked out more. So, it’s easy to rationalize teasing them, mocking them, or even discriminating against them since, on some level, we assume it’s their own fault they are fat. Let me tell you, though, it’s not so simple.

I hit the genetic lottery in the weight department (though I definitely missed the Powerball in the looks department, but I digress). At 6’4”, I’ve always been a fairly thin to average build, weighing in at 185-195 pounds through most of my adult life. Now, I do work out regularly, but I can’t say that I’m a particularly healthy eater, with at least half of my meals being fast food or pizza. By contrast, my younger brother “Kurt” has always been into athletics as much as I have, regularly plays basketball, bikes, and snowboards, and has even run a marathon. He’s married, and he and his wife cook good, nutritious meals at home. Yet he carries an extra 70-80 pounds more than me. I know he could probably drop 30-40 pounds, but it is as unrealistic to expect him to be under 200 pounds as it is to expect me to marry a woman. He just is a bigger guy, and always will be.

Then there’s my older brother, “Steve”. Steve battled his weight most of his life, and it made him unhappy, though he rarely talked about it. At some point, he fell into a self-reinforcing cycle of staying home and not working out because he was embarrassed by his weight, and while alone at home, would eat more, leading to more weight gain and less chance for exercise (not to mention his weight itself inhibited working out due to the physical pain and discomfort). As his weight increased, Steve had trouble with tasks many of us take for granted—sitting down and standing up, getting into cars, finding a chair or booth at a restaurant that could accommodate him, picking up things off the floor, or even walking up a short flight of stairs or down a long hall. Then, three years ago, just before Christmas, Steve went to his doctor for what he thought was chronic bronchitis. The doctor was concerned about possible pneumonia, so he admitted Steve to the hospital for observation and testing. While in the hospital and awaiting test results, Steve unexpectedly died from a heart condition known as cor pulmonale. He was only 38 at the time. His weight was well north of 400 pounds.

Steve’s death has really reinforced for me the need to do what I can to maintain a healthy weight. The past few months, the winter weather has kept me from running my usual amount, and I’ve packed on 10 or so extra pounds, creeping over the 200 pound mark for the first time in years. Now, at age 40, I’m probably never going to be back to my prime “fighting weight” of 185 like I was in my 20s to mid-30s. But I need to make an effort to do what I can to control my weight. So, even though I do not give up anything for Lent (other than church), Fat Tuesday makes a good point to start a healthy weight loss program. Starting tomorrow, I will get back to running five to seven miles a day at least five days a week, even if I have to join a gym to do so. I will also cut out alcohol until I get back to 195 pounds; that is the easiest way to cut empty calories (not to mention on days when I work out, I seem to drink a lot less alcohol). Hopefully I will be back under 200 pounds before IMOP in early March.

I’m fortunate that I have the genetic base to stay in a healthy weight zone if I make the effort. But for many overweight people, such as my brother, there are not a lot of plays for the genetic hand they were dealt. I'm not saying that overweight people should be excused from giving their best effort to be as healthy as they can.  Neither am I saying that people should never tell a fat joke, or that airlines or other businesses shouldn’t take weight into account for legitimate purposes, but they should try to do so with some measure of sensitivity and compassion. To perhaps create a cliché, fat people are people, too.

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* Post-9/11, I would probably add bias against Muslims and/or people of Middle Eastern descent to the list of “socially acceptable prejudices” in mainstream America.