April 26, 2012

An Irresistible Duck Pho Meets an Immovable Inquisition

Most of my readers also follow Poker Grump, so y'all should know about the Deuce-Four, which the Grump touts as the mightiest hand in poker. [FN1]  Of course, my friend CK, a/k/a the Black Widow of Poker, contends that "crubs" (clubs) are the strongest hand, because "crubs always get there" (though there is the small matter of needing a "crubs whistle" to summon the crubs). Naturally, one has to wonder what would happen if the Duck Pho ran into Crubs. In fact, Grump has already wondered about that conflict, a potential "irresistible force meeting an immovable object" situation. Based on field research to date (see HERE, HERE, and HERE for in-depth analysis), data are inconclusive.

In any event, Crubs and the Duck Pho, powerful as those poker demi-gods are, must bow to the transcendent majesty of the Spanish Inquisition. crAAKKer reader "RedXBranch" shared the following story as a comment to one of my recent posts:

I have been dying to tell you of a big win recently at our local casino in a $1/$2 cash game. I played the "Spanish Inquisition" against a lady specifically because she had played "the Grump" 4 times. The hand went: EP raise to $7, followed by 2 callers, then the lady called also. I look down at 6-3 off, and called "for the hell of it". Flop comes out 6,9,Q w/two spades. Action goes check, check, lady bets $10, I call and one of the other guys calls. Pot is now about $60. Turn is a blank and it goes check, lady makes it $15, I call and other player folds. She tells me, "you better be careful", and we have a laugh. River is the 6 of diamonds. Yahtzee! She bets $25 and I raise her to $75. She snap calls me while saying "I told you to be careful, two pair" (Q-9). I show my trips and say "that is the Spanish Inquisition, nobody expects it." Hilarity ensues. She called me an asshole. I told her anyone that plays deuce/four as often as she does should be able to appreciate my play of the 6/3 ... hehe! She hunted my chips like she was on safari for the rest of the night.

I love this story because RedXBranch clearly has a sense of humor, "calling for the hell of it" with a monster hand like the Inquisition. Plus, the Inquisition pays off in full, not only winning the hand (*yawn*), but also providing a "Yahtzee!" moment before causing hilarity to ensue.

The evidence is overwhelming. The Spanish Inquisition is superior to the Duck Pho. But I think we all knew that already.

[FN1]  The Deuce-Four really needs a nickname. All cool poker hands have awesome nicknames. Well, maybe not awesome, but at least a nickname. So, henceforth I will refer to the Deuce-Four as the "Duck Pho".


  1. Sudden move to motor mouth.

    Not complaining mind you. Not complaining.

    But, another hiatus just will not fly.

  2. I've always referred to Deuce-4 as "The Grump" ever since I started reading his blog.

  3. I like "Duck Pho." However, one of the dealers at Prairie Meadows (whose first name starts with a "Jay") has already dubbed deuce-four the "Screaming Beaver."

  4. It's known as the "Woody" at our home game. It started as the "lumber yard" (2 x 4), then became the Woody so when someone tables the 2-4 they always say, "I've got a Woody!"

    Sophomore humor at it's best :)

    Pocket eights are known as the "Chubby."

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