April 08, 2010

D-Bag O' the Day

Welcome to a new regular (but likely not actually daily) feature, the D-Bag O' the Day!  The D-Bags of the world deserve special recognition, particularly when they are notably annoying.  So, they will be featured here semi-regularly, as well as added to a sidebar.

Our first honoree goes to a self-absorbed ungentleman I ran across today.  I went to lunch with one of my law partners, and we decided to stop at Smokey D's BBQ in the downtown Des Moines skywalk.  Smokey D's has excellent BBQ at a good price, not to mention several award-winning sauces (I love the "Sassy" and "Fiery" sauces).  The skywalk location is pretty no-frills, but you go there for the food, not the ambience.  Their restaurant is also fairly small, with only 10-12 tables, most of which only seat 2-3 people, and a few that seat 4-5.  During the lunch rush, seating is at a premium, as Smokey D's is understandably a popular spot.  If I am eating solo, I get my food to go, but today, my partner and I wanted to eat at the restaurant.  So, we went after the main rush had passed, stood for five minutes in a fairly short line, but when we got our food, there were no open tables.  So, we stood and waited for an opening, along with a few other people.  Here's where our D-Bag earned his stripes ...

A table, one of the few tables for 4-5 people, opened up.  D-Bag swoops in and captures the table ... for himself.  That's right, he took a big table and tied it up for his own use.  Now, other people had waited longer for a table, including a group of four.  Several other groups were in line for food.  But never mind all that, D-Bag happened to be closest to the table, so he took it.  As if to give a big ol' middle finger to those still standing, D-Bag decided to take his sweet time to eat, then lingered at the table after he finished eating to enjoy some web-browsing on his cell phone.  To be fair, there were a couple of groups of minor league d-bags who tied up tables with post-lunch chitchat (for gawd's sake, go walk around!), but our major league D-Bag took it to an entirely new level.  So, congrats to our inaugural D-Bag O' the Day!

A D-Bag in the wild.  Note the classic "screw y'all" pose.


  1. Unlikely you'll want to do this everyday, but there's plenty of material out there!

  2. Too bad you were with a partner rather than a good friend. Then you could have just sat at the same table and engaged in socially inappropriate conversation. Presto! Your table.

  3. I think I know this guy. Was he wearing a Principal name badge? Would you be upset if I forwarded him a link to this post?

  4. @ Anon #2: I don't recall a Principal name tag, but it's possible he had one. You can send a link if you want, it is a public blog, after all. But if he's not into sports and poker, 98% of this blog will bore him to tears!

  5. That is my child.